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(don't you cry no more)

1:34 AM 5/21/2010
One thing I don't care for is certain forms of Twitter fiction. A piece of Twitter fiction either should be self-contained in a tweet or two, or should work with the format, not against it. Trying to shoehorn a 1,000-word, or 500-word story into Twitter just doesn't work, not unless that piece is actually episodic like Twitter.

The best form of Twitter fiction I've found is the fictional person, and (even better) when they're not just coming up with 140 characters worth of wit, but when their tweets actually convey their fictional lives. And with all respect to the other excellent fictional tweeters I know, I've found a new temporary favorite episode. Observe @CrankyKaplan, a capslocked, gin-soaked, obscene, profane, Segway-riding send-up of Peter Kaplan, and his adventures this balmy May evening:
GO AHEAD GOV'MENT, PUT UP A FUCKING FENCE, THIS IS ONE BAD-ASS GIN-DRUNK HOMBRE WHO'S COMING THROUGH, SINGING "WIND BENEATH MY WINGS" IN C. 8:31 PM May 17th

BLASTING THROUGH LARCHMONT VILLAGE (FUCK YOU) ON SEGWAY AT 15 MPH DOING THE WINDMILL WITH MY PENIS SPELL IT FUCKERS THAT'S P.E.N.I.S. 8:35 PM May 17th

BALLS SMACKIN' MY KHAKIS NUZZLE THESE FURRY CRITTERS LADIES OF LARCHMONT THAT SOUND YOU HEAR IS MY BALLS, BALLS, BALLS. 8:39 PM May 17th

ENTIRE RELIGIONS HAVE WAIT A MINUTE TREE 8:41 PM May 17th

OUCH. 8:43 PM May 17th

FUCKING 8:43 PM May 17th

FUCKER 8:43 PM May 17th

TREE 8:43 PM May 17th

OAK 8:44 PM May 17th

MAYBE ELM 8:44 PM May 17th

FUCK YOU NATURE 8:44 PM May 17th

DRAGGING SELF AND SEGWAY THROUGH LARCHMONT, BLEEDING PROFUSELY, PUNISHED YET AGAIN BY THE GODS. HOPE I GOT PUSSY AT HOME. 8:49 PM May 17th

That, my associates, is finest-kind physical comedy, and I feel privileged to have read it.

2:26 AM 5/21/2010
I'm getting some very nice suggestions for what to do with my impulse mint.

Located the dry cat food. There I was all ready to refill it, and there it wasn't visible. So I looked all over, and finally found that the container looked like nothing I was used to seeing cat food in. There was plenty of the wet cat food, and the house-sittees are reachable, so it wouldn't have been a crisis, but it would have been embarrassing.

2:43 AM 5/21/2010
*blink*
I just used my Francine userpic on a comment for the first time in probably years, and ... used to be that the primary differences were the glasses and the exact hairstyle. I've ... pretty much got that hairstyle now, just mine's a bit longer. Face-shape's somewhat off. But the hair made me blink and double-take.

2:46 AM 5/21/2010
Aww. I got a very sweet note from a cousin-by-marriage about a lovely gift Mama sent.

2:04 PM 5/21/2010
Last night was not so good. First I was awake and couldn't really get to sleep. Then, just about as soon as I was ready to actually crash, a little after -- I was so tired I was nauseated, and I had got my pillows just right (a feat on a strange bed) my laptop woke up and started binging at me. I therefore woke up, and I couldn't trust that my laptop would go the hell back to sleep. Morning was much better, as feeding this dog is pretty easy, and so is picking up after him in the yard. Then I passed the fuck out again.

It's amazing, the range of sounds and smells that one old dog can exude. I'm just sayin'.

4:17 PM 5/21/2010
Aja recommends a whole treasurehouse of fic. I got lost in some of the Iron Man ones. I ... oh dear. I fear I have acquired a new fandom, and something about acquiring this one feels ... I have a Complicated relationship with my best friend. Iron Man feels connected to him in weird ways, so falling for the fandom and the fic is connected to him, like Mythbusters is connected to him. It's weird, and my head is in a really really weird headspace for having read through a few of the other fics I found on a tangent. It hurt my head like reading that Anne Tyler book that Ginger gave me years ago hurt me. I cannot examine the shapes of certain kinds of human misery too closely, or I will myself fall in.

6:56 PM 5/21/2010
The more I think about matters of personal body modesty that include the concept of hair and face being personal body parts that one shows amongst one's family and other intimates, but does not choose to grace the general public with, the more I consider that this may be a Very Good Idea for certain manifestations of agoraphobia and/or serious introversion. Especially the sorts of agoraphobia that are linked to "hi, I loathe my appearance for reasons that may or may not have a basis in reality".

8:16 PM 5/21/2010
Yay talked with Drewface!
Not quite so yay, talked someone through reporting a Very Scary Scenario. For the reference of everyone who doesn't know this, if you come across a situation on LiveJournal where you think someone's life may be in immediate danger, and you do not have sufficient information to call their local emergency services to have a welfare check made, file an Abuse request with the information you do have. They may be able to get access to sufficient information to send somebody. The larger cloud of people-who-are-connected-to-me-in-some-way on LJ, friends-of-friends, possibly -of-friends, contains someone whose life was saved because of this; they were not feeling well, and then didn't check back in, and had fallen ill rapidly enough not to be able to call for help themselves.
I don't know that it's come up on Dreamwidth yet, but I'm guessing same deal.
On Twitter, send an @-message to someone on duty from the Twoffice.

11:55 PM 5/21/2010
New hypothesis: anyone named "Hammer" is probably 10 tons of fail in a 5-ton armored dumptruck.

12:44 AM 5/22/2010
"... Chaos and panic and the urge to run around in circles while screaming: His holy signs in this are unmistakable." (If I existed in this universe, there'd be no question which deity I belonged to for very long.)

12:54 PM 5/22/2010
My aunt is going to the Maker Faire today. She has something she's doing there, 3-6. She wanted to bring me along. The dogsittees are not back yet. Woe!

I have been whining on Twitter about my face. There was a pretty gnarly cut in my mouth that I discovered last night, and it was interfering with me sleeping because it hurt so much. It's much further along the path to healing right now, but it's also swollen enough so opening my mouth wide enough to take a proper bite of something is painful. I will survive, I'm just whining because it hurts.

Crossposted. comment count unavailable comments.
Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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