Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

Dead and/or Dyeing

Got some clothes in the bathtub in a plastic tub filled with black dye. Black clothes, or formerly so -- some were attacked by bleach, others have just faded. Some were navy blue. I need more black clothing.

I tend to wear all black: black pants, black shirt, black socks, black shoes, black bra... in fact, the only thing I routinely wear that isn't black would be my underpants...

Sis says I am in all likelihood what she calls a "mod" ... this being a goth, before goths were quasi-cool. I'm not a goth, really. I don't wear makeup, hardly at all, and definitely don't go in for the whole paleface/eyeliner/black lipstick thing. I don't do too much angst anymore, and I don't wish I was born a few centuries earlier. I got in the habit of wearing all black and only black back in 96/97, when it became apparent to me that if I didn't wear black to remind myself what kind of frame of mind I was generally in, I would be dead in short order: unless I watched myself carefully, I would try to kill myself. Since I had no real wish to actually die, I had to remind myself to stay alive.

Now that I'm staying alive automatically, I still like to wear black because I look damn good in it, and also because it's what I'm accustomed to, and it's the color I'm happiest in.
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