May 2nd, 2001

running, bomb tech

Honing: Auntie J. vs. Ants

Ants.

One or two, going about their business, are cool every now and then, and, depending on my mood, get either squished or escorted out or ignored.

When you barge into the apartment after a particularly *difficult* Beltane morning (as in Circle scattered to the four winds and all ill and all in a really *pissy* mood) and find the floor of the entry closet at least 50% gray with all these INSECTS...

Thusly were the ants smote, verily and with extreme prejudice. Then Auntie J gathered herself together, yawped at the landlady, and went on a Sithly trip with a four-year-old crosstown on bus system to fetch red pepper and cinnamon in industrial quantities, both safe for floor with four-year-old grubbing around.

Now the ants (the tiny swarming kind) are in both bathrooms, don't ask me how they got there from the kitchen for I have No Clue, and have started marching up on the rug perimiter... and my nose smells like cayenne pepper. At least landlady will spray Friday.

JL, Darth Auntie From Hell
running, bomb tech

Morning...gawdawful morning.

Not having a good day. Paper for sociology class is due tomorrow. Haven't really even done interview. Did a halfway attempt at it; I think I'll just fake it. Don't tell my teacher.

Interview turned into personal conversation. I'm so stupid. Hope I smarten up soon. Wonderful guy; I came so close to completely killing our friendship, which is one of the things I treasure most.

Went on a process-hunt carrying vampire stakes. I think in a day it'll be safe to say I'm no longer in love with him.
running, bomb tech

more stress

The computer hates my roommate. Poor dear. She's struggling so hard and just not getting it. Wish I could give her some of my ability to understand obscure technical stuff.

Interesting to find out what people really think about you. Been reading journals from some of my friends... it's like walking in and noticing that they're naked, or you are, or both. (just typed "goth" there, go fig.) No fun to be that lonely...what sucks is that I should have figured out exactly how much I was hurting him but refused to notice it....

also sucks that I damn near lost myself a friend today & yesterday and I'm going to have to really watch my step around him for the next month so I don't screw up again.

Love sucks.
  • Current Music
    "Nightswimming," REM
running, bomb tech

school

Just realized how funny it sounds when someone talks about our instructor for this class by his last name. "Yes, I'm looking for Mr. Wright...?"
running, bomb tech

ants

gods damn.

This is sure turning into a bitchy little file, isn't it.

But anyway, I'm still peeved about coming home yesterday and finding that the hallway floor was 50% gray with ants. Natural state of hallway floor = white. Natural state of ants = black. I grabbed Lysol and sprayed their asses into submission, swept up the struggling damp forms, and washed them down the bathtub. (Dumb move.) Then I went out, told the landlady (they'll spray Friday), bought some industrial-strength red pepper, spread it all over the place. Apparently ants hate red pepper. Red pepper is safe for four-year-olds.

We had ants in the west bathroom by 9 last night, and ants in the east bathroom by 5:30 this morning.

I hate ants.
running, bomb tech

(no subject)

heh, I may eventually work my way up to happy today. Don't count on it though.

Augh! person next to me in computer lab has a binder decorated with ant stickers all over it.
  • Current Mood
    apathetic apathetic
running, bomb tech

finding the lion

I'm going to go say hi to my friend who I no longer love. (odd to say that about him; I'd loved him pretty much forever.)

Wonder if he's going to read it. If he doesn't, then someone who knows him probably will.... he gets to read my journal anyway, sometimes. I hadn't been letting him recently because of that whole dangerout emotion thing, but that's pretty much void now.

Feels really empty.

Why the hell do I want to do such stupid, self-destructive things anyway?
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
running, bomb tech

futility

Realized his class got out then and he'd left already. Don't think he'd especially want to see me right then anyway.

*sigh*

I'm suffering from journal withdrawl. Lost my paper journal; hope nobody who will use it for ill purposes is reading it. Hope it will return to me; got phone numbers and important memories in there.
  • Current Mood
    blank blank
running, bomb tech

futility

Realized his class got out then and he'd left already. Don't think he'd especially want to see me right then anyway.

*sigh*

I'm suffering from journal withdrawl. Lost my paper journal; hope nobody who will use it for ill purposes is reading it. Hope it will return to me; got phone numbers and important memories in there.
running, bomb tech

gossip

In the epic search for my journal, I crashed into a couple people from my class group in the courtyard. We chatted a while. It's nice to have human contact, even if it's with people who matter little to me. Chance at new friendships, perhaps. Usually if I'm going to get along with someone I hit it right off with them. Didn't happen with these people, but they're still pleasant.

Wonder if dude would think about getting to know me better now that I don't have those multiples to worry about. *sigh* Could have worked out...maybe. Hah. Dream on, girl, dream on.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
running, bomb tech

All Your Database Are Belong To Us

Helping roommate with database issues. She so needs lunch. Grr. Didn't even get to celebrate Beltane yesterday much.

Did sit in Circle with the kids though.
  • Current Mood
    argh
running, bomb tech

...afternoon

Took a nap. Went swimming with my nephew. Adorable kid. Got him set up to play race car on Mommy's computer and came back online. A little calmer now. If he hates me forever for having been in love with me, so be it.

Please gods not, though.

Chatting with various buddies. Got up the nerve to say hi to the guy I hoped things would work out with from the renfair. We had a decent conversation, I hope. He's still not legal though, so nothing could happen... yet.

Hey, I broke up with my One And Only in January. This is May. I haven't dated anyone since then, and this has been a looong loooong time for me.
  • Current Music
    10,000 Maniacs: Because The Night
running, bomb tech

RPG's

Just chatting with a couple friends about D&D 3rd edition. He's ranting. I'm letting him rant. Really not into playing any kinds of games at all. I like hanging out with RPG'ers, though; they always have the best conversations. I'm the one who goes on the run for Mountain Dew and/or Dr. Pepper, depending on the gaming group.

I also give killer backrubs....
  • Current Music
    "Crying in the Rain" A-Ha
exhausted, tired, Azzsleep

ant crisis slowing to a crawl...

Spent dinnertime on my knees on the floor smashing ants with a small hammer as my nephew cowered on a chair with his pbj bagel (out of bread) and shrieked.

Now he's in bed watching Pokemon and I've got the worst of the ants cleared up. Bed's a safe place from ants.
  • Current Music
    Cake: The Distance
running, bomb tech

ant crisis slowing to a crawl...

Spent dinnertime on my knees on the floor smashing ants with a small hammer as my nephew cowered on a chair with his pbj bagel (out of bread) and shrieked.

Now he's in bed watching Pokemon and I've got the worst of the ants cleared up. Bed's a safe place from ants.
  • Current Music
    Cake: The Distance
horny, Divine Oscillations

ARGH!

So I'm having an online collision with one of the very special people in my life for the first time in about a month, and what happens? The ants attack. My nephew screeches, and I have to go smash them with hammers.

When I've got him settled nicely in bed, I get back online...only to be bumped off. Repeatedly. And then ICQ won't work properly. We've finally got ourselves settled down on AIM when-- my roommate gets back. My sister. My dear, dear, beloved sister.

I *lock* the door.

We settle down, and I shoo away the other people trying to IM me....

and she knocks on the door. I answer it, somewhat disheveled and breathless. She wants to get online, but, she says, taking in my state, that she can wait a little while.

I go back -- to find that my ISP has taken me offline anyway. So it's her turn, while I get dinner.

When she goes offline, it takes me at least two tries to dial up successfully, and by that time my dear has moved attention on to something else; it is 15 minutes before he returns my somewhat aggravated messages.

As we are settling in to a cozy chat, I am dumped offline. Again.

When I get back on, all my friends from my other instant messenger programs have arrived, including another one I haven't seen in months. So I have to talk to him. Briefly. Briefly. I bid farewell to all my friends from the other programs and set each of them to some variant of Busy! Don't bother me! Busy! and begin the chat.

If I get bumped offline *one* *more* *time*.....!
  • Current Music
    Dead Milkmen: "Stuart"