July 3rd, 2001

running, bomb tech


For those of you who have heard about my high school best friend Shawn...

...well, he wrote back.

Wow. This is completely amazing. And with a 2k message, too. His usual form of reply is about two sentences. Short ones. Incomplete.

I wrote him a long message in reply, since he said "Keep in touch" at the end of the message.


...back a ways in a survey I took, June 12 to be precise, I mentioned the one friendship that I used to have that I didn't have anymore that I most missed. That was Shawn. We used to have such good times together.

Maybe we can start talking again someday. I hope. I'm never to be a lover of his again, of course. Darkside would kill me for doing that to myself, or rather he'd look at me and say, "Joan, do you really honestly think this is something that you should be doing?"

and since I can't lie to Darkside, not about anything, not ever, I would of course say "No" and then Darkside would look me even deeper in the eye and say,

"Well, don't do that, then!"

and I'd have to not do it, even if I wanted to.
running, bomb tech



Learned yesterday that the weird thing that bananas and walnuts do to my mouth is in fact an allergic reaction.

Too many walnuts makes the insides of my mouth peel. Ditto with bananas that are not quite ripe. Apparently this is an allergic reaction of some weird sort, and I should definitely avoid walnuts and bananas to avoid making it worse.

I've always tried to avoid bananas and walnuts in any case, but it made me feel weird to tell people, "No, I don't eat walnuts because I just don't like them" when in fact the taste... well, the taste would be OK if the walnuts didn't take the skin on the inside of my mouth completely off. Ditto with bananas. But it's nice to know that I've got a medical reason for not liking bananas and walnuts other than, "I don't like them."

Heh. Weird.
running, bomb tech


Good gods.

Not only do I have to kid-proof the house and cat-proof the house (we're not even going into the logistics, also of practical interest here, of proofing the house against ghost chickens) but I have to klepto-proof the house.

Sis's relations are kookier than a hatbox filled with live mink. Her biological sister is a pyscho klepto "Sunday Christian" -- the sort who says she's Christian and all witches are tools of the Devil ... but asks her pagan sister to come and exorcise the house....

...After "psycho klepto Sunday-Christian" the descriptions used for this woman get more interesting, and since my nephew is learning to read and is in the room I'll spare you the best ones. Plus a racist and a homophobe and a hypocrite and a lying cheating snitch.

I don't care for her, and neither does Sis, but Grandma won't choose sides between her daughters (good for you, Grandma... though personally having loyalty *only* to Sis, I say fuck the lying cheating stealing little *ahem*....) and insists on having Miss (well, technically Mrs.) K* visit us.

I really wish I could come out of the closet as bi at them. I really wish I could. They'd freak and trip, but the problem is, the whole family's homophobic, and unfortunately (while Sis is cool with me) her family, the whole thing, even the people in it she likes, would assume the worst about her and me, and never speak to either of us again, and try to get Nephew taken away from her, and .... *sigh*


I don't like the rest of her family very much. Perhaps it's her attitude toward them rubbing off on me.
running, bomb tech

I have been seduced by The Spark

...so I took the gay test.


I am 59% GAY!

That's gayer than average for someone of your gender and supposed orientation. The typical straight female is only 30% gay!

people less gay than you (98%)
people just as gay as you (0%)
people gayer than you (1%)

Seeing as I'm bisexual and have had one fiance/ee from either side of the fence, that really figures.

Maybe I'll go take the quiz as a dyke now. Same answers...
running, bomb tech

As a dyke, same answers for the questions that were the same... honestly for the rest...

According to the Gay Test...
You are 57% GAY!

The typical lesbian is only 38% gay!
Here's how you compare:

people less gay than you (45%)
people just as gay as you (4%)
people gayer than you (50%)

OK, so I'm definitely gay. I give up. I thought I was going to come out so straight. I guess it was the sports team that did it. Soccer and fencing, way in my distant youth, for those who are interested, not to mention duct-tape swords with the crowd of anime dudes.

OK, I admit it, I'm FUCKING QUEER AS A $3 BILL!!

...Never mind that I'd jump Darkside (very male, for those who are interested) in a picosecond if he gave me the chance at him.

Never mind that I *do* look better in lace than in leather.

OK, so objectively, if I kept my brain out of it, and my common sense, my hormones would specify that my female roommate is more attractive to me than Darkside is. But you see, you can train the brain to not notice things like that, if it becomes very apparent to the brain that if the body goes ga-ga over Sis, Sis will first give me a stern talking-to with her fists, and then with any other blunt or sharp or rusty object to hand, et cetera.

That's if I made a physical pass at her.

Hell yes she's homophobic. But she's my sister. She's cool with gay guys -- dykes like me worry her, because her underlying assumptions with anyone before it's proven that they won't is that if they're attracted to her they'll do something rude and physical without even asking. I inquired if she swang that way, and then when it proved she didn't, didn't pursue the issue.

It would be really nice if she could give her brain a good housecleaning on the subject, but since I've got my own bats in my own belfry, I'm not one to talk. I wish she'd just admit that yes, she is a homophobe, but she prides herself on being so open-minded....

*sigh* It'll catch up to her someday (it always does ... every time she puffs herself up about something she takes a queen-sized fall) and I hope it's not too bad...