July 5th, 2001

running, bomb tech

Disorder o' the Day

Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.

Thank all the *gods* that I've gotten out of the worst of the dependant stuff. I'm learning to trust myself, and fend for myself.... breaking up with BJ, even when I knew he still loved me, may have been one of the best things I've done for myself...

Over these past eight months, I've been resetting myself, discovering what my settings are, what the defaults are, what I should be tuned to. I've had the advantage of some friends kicking my butt along the way. You know they love you when they tell you to go to hell when you go whining to them, and then just smile at you when you've got your ass back in gear and have eliminated the cause of your whining on your own...

It doesn't sound like much when I put it in words like that. When they say, "go to hell," it's said in the same voice you'd use to say "You're my sister and I love you." That's what they mean. They mean, "get your butt in gear, Sis, and stop whining about it." But "go to hell" is a lot shorter and a lot nicer.

It's amazing how much the feel of my best friend squeezing my hand feels like a full-body hug...
running, bomb tech

this is your life

...and it's ending one minute at a time.

Deliver me from Swedish vibrators!
  • Current Music
    fight club
exhausted, tired, Azzsleep


Well, I had to officially deal with my first Kid Crisis.

Fortunately, we were already wide awake by the time he started hurling.

No more *anything* containing pork for this boy. His mom hurls every time she eats something with pork in it, and now so does he. Ooooh, Grandma is ever going to be pissed about this....
  • Current Mood
    tired tired
running, bomb tech

4th of July

Well, we did that whole July 4th thing, sort of.

Alan was going to drag us out to shoot of fireworks (not entirely aboveboard in this state) but the place where we would have done it was patrolled heavily by our friends in the law enforcement profession, so we gave up and went home.

Rather, we went sort of near home and dropped off Sis's two friends from work... and then Alan and I tried to go out cruising. Since he couldn't find the way to get to the top of the mountain he was planning on showing me, we called that off and went home.

Sis rearranged the furniture while we were out. My room now has the one couch, which I can sleep on.

Sis and Alan and I ended up going to Denny's and eating dinner and drinking coffee and talking about random stuff including history, magic, and sex. There was a table of three Christians sitting a little ways away from us. They left quickly.

We did not faze the waiter.

At home, there was random stuff happening. Dude's girlfriend was here; the door to my room was locked. (Hmm.)

After she left, I spent quite some time working on my novel, with rather a lot of candles helping me out. Just as I was getting finished with the section and reading it to Dude (who had been kind enough to bring me celery sticks) we heard some crying from the other room. Nephew had been up and down all night drinking water, and now he was feeling like hell ---

---sis carried him out to the living room to sit down with him, because he was really upset -- and he of course puked all over everything.

She got him to the bathroom to get her and him all cleaned up. Dude and I broke out the towels and the 409 and put candles and incense everywhere, and opened all the windows, and the back door, and it's clearing out in here.

Oh yeah.

Fun day, totally.
running, bomb tech


...Oh yeah.

Visit went off fairly well. the relatives came and went w/o much incident other than a lot of chaos while they were here, lots of screaming children (the cat was the biggest attraction. He hid under the bed) and two disappearing CD's.

Yes, it was probably Sis's biological sister.

Yes, I'm peeved that my Mortal Kombat CD is missing.

No, they're not coming back here.

I shall insist.

And I shall also insist that Nephew never be given anything containing pork in it ever again. I do not want to be staying up with a sick child. Grandma will just have to deal with it. She doesn't understand it that her daughter has developed such an aversion to pork that eating it turns her stomach, literally, and she's unlikely to understand it in her grandson either.

Tough luck, old biddy, tough luck.
  • Current Music
    from roommate's game