August 11th, 2001

running, bomb tech

a return to the past; a return to yourself; a return to innocence

If Darkside and I were ten and eleven, and carrying out our friendly war of bonks and pressure points and wooden swords on the playground at school, we'd both get detention.

It would also be clear as could be to the teacher giving us detention, as well as everybody else, that we were absolutely crazy about each other and totally in love.

We're in college. I'm 21 and he's 22. We still clonk each other over the head with our textbooks, have the Wiccan Arm-Wrestling Federation every morning at breakfast, kick each other's asses with wooden swords. We don't tend to get detention.

I think I know what's up.

Darkside's relationship history is interesting. He was never very into hanging out with other kids -- he didn't have one of those ten-year-old "I hit her because I like her" relationships.

I may be totally off-base, but I'm just betting that a nice friendly juvenile relationship is what he needs to get himself back together.

After he's back together, who knows? Maybe we'll grow up.
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running, bomb tech

Cold Turkey

So when I showed up at school Friday morning, I was more or less zonked. Darkside tried to snap me out of it first with gentle verbal hints, then some blatant ploys for my attention, followed by subtle physical hints, followed my whacking me over the head with a textbook. When none of this worked, he resorted to the classic favorite: a nice frosty can of Mountain Dew, applied to the sleeper's neck.

The sleeper barely responded.

I finally drank the stuff, and noticed little response. "Oh shit," I said, or words to that effect.

"Whaaaat," Darkside said. He's used to my weird behavior by now, but it still amuses the hell out of him.

"It didn't wake me up," I said.

"Try sleeping, then," Darkside suggested grumpily. He resents having our morning time together taken away from by lack of sleep on my part.

"I bet I got more sleep than you did," I said.

He glared at me and bashed me over the head again with a textbook. His, this time. Heavier. Thicker. Of course I was right.

So I'm quitting caffeine cold turkey, except for chocolate, for the next two months or so. I am accustomed to having one can of Mountain Dew wire me severely, and this just is not a good thing. I am a recreational user of caffeine, a caffeine "tripper," someone who voluntarily takes massive doses of caffeine for the high it produces, usually for magickal or artistic insight or inspiration. If I can't get a cheap high off Dew, what am I to do?

I'll allow myself to have chocolate, in moderation. I've told all my friends that I am to have no Dew -- do not offer it to me, get on my case if you see me drinking it. I'm to stay off Dew until October 16th, which gives me a public reason to be waiting eagerly for that date.
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    determined determined