August 16th, 2001

running, bomb tech


Rather, Nephew is vacuuming. We've got a very small vacuum cleaner, and he knows how to operate it now. Safely, I might add. I'm supervising and doing dishes and moving furniture so that he may vacuum. He likes vacuuming, and he wanted to give it a try, so I'm not about to stop him. My mother thought it was too much of a bother to teach me how to do it properly when I wanted to learn; it was easier to just do it herself then, not let me do any.

I never learned housework. I never learned pick it up and keep it straightened and dusted and tidied.

I'm learning it now, by damn, and Nephew's learning right along with me. When he's tall enough, we'll haul his footstool into the kitchen and we'll play dishes in the sink.
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running, bomb tech

annoy you and make things gen'rally irritating.

Once again, I must give credit where credit is due.

You don't hear me talk about my freshman year of high school much, other than that's when I started my novel.

That was a learning year for me. There was a young man named Bryan who thought I needed more social experience. He proceeded to turn the world around so that I could join the rest of the world from my rather dark, rather comfy, cave.

I didn't appreciate it. But, under Bryan's manipulations, I fell head over heels for a guy who could have been a younger Darkside -- almost the personality, and, from the family photos of Darkside I've seen, the exact appearance. Same first name, too. We called this guy that I fell for "Ricochet" for his habit of bouncing off walls.

Ricochet didn't appreciate the fact that I was head over heels in love with him. He didn't appreciate the way that Bryan had decided to set him up without asking him first; he especially didn't appreciate the way that once I was in love with somebody that was it --- there was no way to weasel me back out of it once I had fallen. (Really Bad Idea, that one. I'm going to have to have a word with the Designers on that one.) This made for a lot of drama and the beginnings of a novel.

Bryan fell for me hard, then. Though I was still in love with Ricochet, I noticed that I didn't mind Bryan either. We had an agreement -- we were only friends in public; when we were alone we could kiss and hold hands. I was still in love with Ricochet first, but I could love Bryan too, sort of.

Confusion to all parties was added when I got a tremendous crush on the most attractive senior in the school, the Freshman Class Crush -- the best drummer in the band -- a shining star in art class -- a fantastic gymnast -- she was perfect.

Bryan liked her too. So, I suspect, did Ricochet, but I can't be sure.

It was confusing. It was completely confusing. I just kept adding to the list of people I had a crush on. I would have dated Ryan from my electronics class, too.

I ended up that year muddled, confused, and with a slight excess of personalities. But that was the starting point for my bass-ackwards entry into something approaching adulthood.

I guess I need to thank you, Bryan. You sure did your best. HSBF did a lot too, a lot more effectively, but you started it, Bryan.
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    nostalgic nostalgic
running, bomb tech

this morning's dreams

he's testing me. am i going to break his heart too? am i interested enough?

and my abandoning him at breakfast hurts him. he doesn't like to be alone anymore.
running, bomb tech

something closer, warmer.

Didn't get to school until about half an hour before my only class. Saw Darkside in the lab; he looked busy. I finally did stop in and say hello to him.

"Ah, I was wondering when you'd get here today."

I explained briefly about having to leave work yesterday, and so consequently spending much of the afternoon, evening, night, and this morning in a state of complete unconsciousness.

I saw Neighbor sitting up at the desk at the front of the lab, and I grinned hello, but I knelt on the floor next to Darkside's computer and watched as he looked up things about the Final Fantasy movie. It was a quiet level of intensity, very tame, very incredibly concentrated and powerful, but so subtle that if we didn't already know it was there, we wouldn't feel it.

He was tired today. 40+ mile drives do that to you, when you haven't been having enough sleep for the past two weeks in any case. Finally moving today. I offered up my sympathies on the plugging in computer issue -- he's only plugged/unplugged his system twice: when setting it up and when dismantling it for moving/storage. He's never set up for DSL either. I depicted my own experience in this, and emphasized that I only threw two things at Sis, and though I threw them with great force, they were only large pillows.

My poor, dear, unfortunate man.

He'll live, and he'll learn, and it'll be good for him.

He got hugs today from our mutual friend who's helping conspire with me, the one who's engaged. He needed them. I would have hugged him but he didn't look like he needed a hug from me -- well, he did, but I'm not sure how he would have taken it.

It's been happening more and more often that he and I link hands at breakfast.
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    satisfied satisfied
running, bomb tech

down for a nap

Neighbor came by with his Playstation and FF9 again; he got a copy of his own so now he has all of it. Nephew was getting tired and wailing about things; I put him down for a nap. He was yowling very loud, so I rearranged the coaxial cables so he can watch Neighbor play Final Fantasy while in bed resting.

That got him quiet, all right, and it's a lot easier for him to rest while watching someone play Final Fantasy than it is for him to rest for Pokemon.
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