August 20th, 2001

running, bomb tech

here goes nothing...

Going to implement the cunning plan I hashed out with Neighbor. Going to implement it this morning. I'm scared.

Gods of good planning be with me!
  • Current Mood
    terrified
lonely, spock

Part I: The Beginning of the Middle

Came to breakfast on time, about the same time as Darkside. Mentioned Serial Experiments: Lain and how incredibly trippy they are, and how we've got the first two tapes. Invited him to come over and watch them sometime. Chatted about movies in general, and how pressure points do not work on him.

Had horseplay on the way to the lab. He's worried about my cough, but I'm not. Just another goddamn cold; it'll work its way out of my lungs in a couple months.

Fun in lab. Looking at each other's screens. He had to ask me to move my chest, as it was too close to his mouse hand for him to scroll without molesting me. I was taken aback; I hadn't noticed where I was.

Nice long chat of boredom with Neighbor after Darkside wandered out of the lab. After things got busier, I wandered back outside, and there Darkside was, so I crept up behind him and actually surprised him for once. He grabbed me by the throat in retribution. Amusing exchange of pressure point exploitation. I seem to have become more resistant to having certain pressure points grabbed by rough fingers.

That was it for the day. Darkside, seeing my sunny smiles at him, is less sensitive to random discussion of Neighbor, even the description of Neighbor and Dude trying to move the couch.

The idea is to build up Darkside's confidence that our friendship is going to be forever (which I'm sure it will be; we were friends before we met, after all) and pound into his head the slow idea, "You know, if I don't get a move on, she might date someone else after all..."

If he asked me, if he only asked me, I would be his.

He hasn't read my livejournal, he just thinks it's fun to stand over my shoulder and nearly give me a heart attack when I notice he's there, especially when I'm writing about him. He's never gotten to really see what's in there, though, he says.

I love you too.

Honestly, "But the guy should ask the girl out!" is not part of my hesitation. I'm just waiting for him to get over dating Sis before I hit on him... again. I made that mistake a while ago, and I don't want to hit on him before it's time to.

Just let me know when it's time, old friend. Just let me know.
  • Current Mood
    lonely lonely
running, bomb tech

clue by five

one step up from the clue-by-four.

Just to give those of you out in cyberspace an idea of how *not* in touch with his own feelings Darkside is, he was Visibly Pining after Sis a full month before he realized it. He only realized it so soon because Sis and I sat him down and cornered him and said, "Look, Tenchi, either choose her or me, because we're both in love with you."

We bombarded him from both sides with hugs and giggles and blushing smiles and all the things that giddy schoolgirls with schoolgirl crushes bestow upon the object of said crush.

It still took him a week.

I told him I liked him first, and asked him if he liked me. He said he'd have to ask his subconscious. He's not very in tune with what he wants at all. I think I know where to lay credit for that little psychological oddity, but I'm not one to point fingers, unless the finger I'm pointing is the middle one, and that one straight up, but otherwise in the direction of... grr.

Grr.

In any case, he's still blissfully clue-negative.

A recent discussion of events brought up the following points:

First, he's only going to be jealous of Neighbor until he asks me whether or not I've got a crush on Neighbor, and I am sufficiently transparent to him that I cannot tell him a lie and get away with it.

Second, I will only be really "taking away" from Darkside's normal time with me in those times between classes when I refrain from seeking him out. The time I spend hanging out with Neighbor in the computer lab, I would be there anyway, and during much of this time, Darkside is busy enough with computer projects that he even shooes me away from what he's doing.

Third, I've used no falsehoods to Darkside in talking about my association with Neighbor. I do not recall mentioning to Darkside that I was hoping to hook up with Neighbor; I read in Darkside's body and voice that he was hurt enough that I was attempting to hook up with Dave. Darkside may have gathered that I wanted to hook up with Neighbor from my body language around Neighbor; ought not he now to figure out that Neighbor counts as a good friend? No, of course not. I will no longer be hitting on Neighbor as much as I was; from an objective viewpoint, I was just barely friend-flirting. Now I'm hardly doing that. All I do with Neighbor is stand around in the computer lab and BS, just like friends do. Anyone with powers of observation can see for whom it is that I truly light up.

Neighbor commented on it this morning, when I came into lab grinning and glowing. Later, he came by and asked me, "So what were you so happy about this morning when you came into lab?"

Darkside and I had been acting like idiots in the courtyard, is what, shoving each other and yanking on backpacks to get to the computer lab first.

That was all.

That was enough.

Never underestimate the imaginative powers of a jealous guy in love.