September 18th, 2001

running, bomb tech

Owwww. (ought to have been about 11:30 ish the 17th)

A long and protracted phone battle is ensuing between Dude, Chick, and Papa John's. The delivery driver only knocked once, and not with the knocker, and so, as there was noise, the door was not answered.

Chick is having a heated phone conversation with Papa John's right now. The pizza people have somebody else in the database for our number. We got that changed, it is to be hoped.

The pizza situation seems to have resolved itself. The pizza arrived safely, and seems to be the correct order.
running, bomb tech

Extracting Information

Darkside spent half an hour extracting the name of the person who had attempted to request a date of me on Thursday.

...Darkside still comes first. I want to make this abundantly clear. Darkside is my best friend, and I don't even hardly *know* the guy I was talking with last night.

Indications are that this guy and I will get to know each other a lot better, but Darkside was still here first. I thanked him, this morning, for telling me six months in the dream we had. He was slightly confused -- well, I would be too, if someone thanked me for something I'd said in a dream I don't remember.

I have a month more to go on that six month restriction, and I just realized a month or so ago that "Give me six months" means "Don't bother me for six months, give me six months to heal", but also means "Don't give up on me until the six months are up, I need time to recover, and if you give up on me before I've recovered, and I end up feeling the same way for you, that's not fair to either of us".

This six month restriction, which will expire in a month, gives me a solid reason to say "I need some time to think about this" .... I leaped before looking into my most recent engagement after a strong feeling of Fate prompted me to.

I need to gather my facts before attempting to fuck up again.
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running, bomb tech

Household Memories

Mama only ever filled the saltshaker halfway, so that when Biosis and I spilled the salt, there'd only be half as much spilled.
running, bomb tech

Wish Me Luck

The guy I was online with so late last night is coming over here to have lunch and hang out.

This is going to be interesting, I think.
running, bomb tech


Well, I just got growled at.

Darkside was trying to sleep when I called. Feelings of guilt? I had to tell him near-immediately. He growled and made unhappy noises at me for waking him. The topic will be covered more in-depth tomorrow morning.

I'm somewhat apprehensive. What if Darkside is pissed at me? What if Darkside is pissed at the guy?

No strings attached, Adam said, and I did full disclosure beforehand on who I love, so things ought to go fairly smoothly. I'm sure Darkside will cheer me on -- after all, if I'm going after someone else, I'm not going after him...

...yes, I'm lonely.

Making out with Adam is nice, but there's this weird feeling that goes along with it, almost a burning feeling somewhere deep inside me, like some heated chemicals spilled on my back, that Adam and I had better be really damn careful what we do together so that we don't fuck things up for each other and ourselves really royally.

I love you, Darkside, no matter what I do with anyone else, I still love you, and I love you a lot, and I love you more than it's polite or easy to express. It doesn't look like you want me, though, and I like Adam. But that's all it really seems to be, there. It's like, lust, and friendship and stuff.

I love you, Darkside. ...if you're ever going to love me, I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you catch up to yourself and catch up to me before I move on. I love you.
running, bomb tech


Just one of those days when I just have to say that. w00t! w00t!

It's so nice to have someone hug you and pay attention to you. I'm happy happy happy. Someone hugged me today. I made a difference to someone today, and someone made a difference to me.
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    Voltaire (Oh My Goth!) - When You're Evil