October 24th, 2001

running, bomb tech


98.2 F this morning. Just what it was last night.

Votania said I've been losing a rather lot of weight, when I commented last night that we're actually starting to look like sisters. Maybe we'll look a lot more like each other in a couple more months. People are already confusing us for each other, namely Shrimpy from school.
  • Current Music
    Pagan - May The Circle Be Open (Wicca)
running, bomb tech


Looks like the Fanboy Otaku Gamer's Club is not w....

OK, here it loads, finally....

Just what I need to start off my morning with, a broken morning comic. I'm hoping Darkside will have added to the horror that is the message boards.

Oh yes, a run-time error at line 39. No, I do not bloody want to debug!

Noooo! It's been loading for six minutes and it's still not done! I have DSL!

Thirteen minutes. That makes seven minutes on this attempt.

Fifteen minutes. Fuck it. I'm going to school. (School computer labs are closed during finals week.)

...wait, I see the edge of the comic... just the white line outside the place where it's supposed to be...

Meh. Red X in the corner. Fuckit. School
  • Current Music
    Garbage - The World Is Not Enough
running, bomb tech


Neither Darkside nor I had a final until ten this morning. we sat in the cafeteria figuring out new and unusual ways to hurt each other. We arm-wrestled. He left claw-marks in my arm this morning. We kicked each other's asses, tied each other's shoelaces together, had a thumb war, smacked each other around, and he taught me a few more valuable little tricks.

[i still love you. never forget it.]

I won with my left arm many times. he played with leverage. he got some good joint locks on me. physical to a new level. Mutual respect and infliction of noncritical pain. Great communication this morning.

I almost stabbed him in a critical area this morning. he warned me. I was about an inch away. I didn't realize I was hitting below the belt he wasn't wearing.

Darkside's getting curious about what, exactly, Adam and I are doing with each other, since there's no technical "sex". He says he's happy and relieved that I'm after someone else now; he's been running up on me grinning a lot more, one particular grin of mine, a new one. the azz grin may be lost forever?

and he keeps asking all these questions about what we're up to, all these sexually slanted little questions.

reminds me so much, so very much, of Shawn. It shall not turn out that way, old friend.

He loves to embarrass me. I've been working on my control of smiling. he can still tell when he hurts me because of the expression I make; little hurts don't count anymore. It's been levitated to a higher level.

there is this frame of mind I can get myself into, where anything can happen. Note-to-self: mind is normally in neutral; clutch with the thing near the nose and shift into first gear; for great justice. Afraid to rev up to second gear. [when I get to fifth!!]
  • Current Music
    Better than Ezra - King of New Orleans
running, bomb tech

retrospective spine[less]

related to darkside the story of how i went into the mens' room once. after my telling of this, the time when i was sixteen or so that i stuck up for myself, he said: "You really were spineless then, weren't you."

Gave me new perspective into how far I've come since then. I never would have stood for half the shit.

it was so brave then, though. darkside could see, i hope, that having done that then took such an effort, such an astounding act of will, to barge into the mens' room to retrieve my taken property.

i can't decide whether i was brave or spineless. both, i think. suddenly becoming vertebrate.
  • Current Music
    Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
running, bomb tech

(no subject)

...when Darkside calls me by name, he calls me by the version of my name that only biological family and friends of the family from when I was little and very close friends use.

When he speaks of me, he uses my public name.

...Adam still uses my public name. Very telling; we're still not as emotionally close as Darkside and I have become.
  • Current Music
    Movement 2 Mozart - Piano Concerto No.21 Elvira Madigan, Andante
running, bomb tech

The Cellphone Grope

Several people are in the same general area. A cellphone rings. All people grab at the general area of their crotch.

Wouldn't it be so much cooler if we picked buddies for the cellphone grope?
  • Current Music
    Nena - 99 Red Balloons (English)
running, bomb tech


98.4 F. Woke up from nap. Feeling slightly chilled in the arms, slightly disconnected from recent sleep. (Did 15 leg crunches this morning almost upon waking up. Haven't really eaten lunch yet.)

acpizza raises the interesting point that my low temperature and the slow metabolism that goes with it are the results of a metabolic disorder, and that I ought to get it checked out, especially since my moods appear to be linked to my body temperature.

That's something I'm definitely going to look into. I've noticed for years that there are some temperatures that I work best at. I'd always thought that this was preference in room temperature rather than something more interesting, but keeping track of my body temperature has been most enlightening. It's body temperature that does it, I think. When I'm cold I'm grouchy and depressed and want only to curl up in blankets and eat chocolate. When I'm at ideal operating temperature I dance, crank music, write for hours on end on my Interminable Novel, clean house, sing at the top of my lungs, and generally act in accordance with the cheerful and brilliant child I used to be, rather than the young adult prone to depressive episodes that I used to be.

It may be notable that I used to live in Alaska, and now have settled my ass in Arizona for college -- going from one extreme to the other. I find that long-sleeved black shirts are perfectly wearable in the height of summer outdoors. We have no car; I walk everywhere.

I have also noticed that my extreme bad moods, which used to hit me perhaps once every two months or so, have vanished to the point where Darkside is skeptical of my claim to be prone to depression. Sure, I've called him a few times at very bad times at night to cry over the phone to him, but I was going through a breakup, finals, and a move at the same time; everybody's due a good nervous breakdown every now and then.

No wonder my father complained about the house being too hot when I was left to my own devices. If I log my temperature and my mood for a long enough period to make it very clear whether or not my temperature and mood are extremely closely linked, then I can show that to him as explanation. He'd get a kick out of that.

...and then maybe I can kick the ass of the depression that's been my good buddy all my life.
  • Current Music
    martin page - the house of stone and light
running, bomb tech


...Not that this should surprise anyone but Darkside.

For the record, I'm mostly Wiccan, and ordained through the ULC ( http://www.ulc.net ).Recently, I might add... ;) I don't expect that this will make much difference. I've known I've had some variety of a calling for a long time.

...my real problem has been figuring out what I want to do for a day job.
  • Current Music
    Eagles - Hotel California
running, bomb tech

Oy. LJ quizzes are virii.

I scored 8 on the pervertedlogic.com CyberWhore Poll!


Yeah, I know, you've only "popped in" to "those rooms" once or twice, just like everybody else. You've kept an open mind, but have probably done more looking than doing. You may eventually tire of the net's more racy options, or develop a taste for something a bit more exotic, but chances are you will remain in the middle of the bell curve with your ovine brethren. Baaa!
  • Current Music
    Go Gos - We Got The Beat
running, bomb tech

Are You A Sad (Male) Sci Fi Fan? (http://www.seethru.co.uk/games/quiz/sci-fi.htm)

You scored 37
(21 to 50)
No doubt about it, you bloody love space. You know the best way to disable a cyberman is by rubbing gold into his chestplate, you know the names of all the Ewoks, you know how to say "phasers to stun" in Romulan, but you can't remember where you live. You'll watch any old tosh as long as it's got robots in it, and you will end up married to a goth librarian with the Seal of Rassillon tattooed on her neck. We hope you'll be very happy together.

I know how to say "Check out the titties on that one" in Klingon... does that count?
  • Current Music
    Trio - Da Da Da
running, bomb tech

Anybody can be a lesbian. Anybody. Are you? (http://www.seethru.co.uk/games/quiz/lesbian.htm)

You scored 110
Lezza, whatever. If it moves, you'll consider it. You are either a greedybisexual, or you are greedy-bisexual-curious. You want to have your cake and eat it. Of course. Why have cake and not eat it? That would be stupid. Make sure you save a piece for me (slut)
  • Current Music
    murray head - one night in bangkok
running, bomb tech

Temperature (feelin' good)

I'm feeling awake, alive, and like doing something. I've been at work all day, and plotting how to best link the computers and speakers and all in the house. I'm thinking about getting one of the external DVD players for my little computer and then set up some sort of jury-rigged cableage to the TV in the living room. I know I can do something interesting.

I have one final tomorrow, Visual Basic. That's in the evening. I've got an appointment at 12:45 for a flu shot, but otherwise my day is empty.
  • Current Music
    Soul Coughing - Circles