October 31st, 2001

running, bomb tech

For the future....

I'm not planning on dying anytime soon, I want to say that at the get-go.

...But I would like to say a few things, especially at this hour of the night.

You see, a drunken witch was doing palm-readings one evening. She looked at Darkside's hand and told him about the girls from his past he hadn't even bothered to mention as girlfriends. She looked at my life line, looked at me, and then said simply, "I'm sorry."

Apparently her own life line has something of the same length as mine. Hers is broken in a few places... all true. All true.

I cornered her when she was sober. She wouldn't look at my hand. I told her she'd looked at it before. She asked me what had happened, and I told her.

"I'm sorry," she said again.

...so I most likely have a few good years left in me. Maybe not to be old... but really, was I expecting to live that long?

So far, I've collected one regret, maybe two, in my life. There are the things I've fucked up at, same as everybody, but ... I regret not kissing [my first fiancee] goodnight the last evening we were in the same state as each other, and I might regret never having insisted on kissing Shawn.

I will finish my novel, someday. I will be more published than I am, whether before or after I die. I will have helped a child grow into a healthy young man, both in body and in mind and spirit. I will have loved. Good gods, will I ever have loved.

For those of you who read this after I eventually do die, I've known my spiritual vocation ever since I decided that life was a comedy and my role was the clown. I know I was discussing this theory with myself in the summer of 1994 at CTY with myself and Rebecca. I thought there should be a society governed by laughter. We were reading John M. Ford's How Much For Just The Planet? at the time, and this might have had something to do with it.

Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter is the best weapon. Laughter, according to The Man from Mars, is what distinguishes Man from Monkey. It hurt so much, I had to laugh.

When I die, and you're weeping ....

... know that somewhere, somehow, I'm laughing my ass off at you.
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running, bomb tech

Ah, the holidays.

I think that this is going to be a better year than last year.

Last year on this day, I was dressed as a sleepy and cross flying witch --- namely, myself, in transit from Alaska to Arizona.

This year I'll be a goth vampire in Ren garb. Fishnet stockings, fishnet gloves, teeth, makeup... whee!
running, bomb tech

....forgetting again...

I keep doing this, sitting at my computer or reading a book the first thing in the morning, and then forgetting to eat.

I suppose it's a sign that I'm getting my high school body back, which could take that sort of thing.

I end up fainting when I breathe wrong, though.
running, bomb tech

Long morning....

Due to being up far too late last night, and then again with the whole parent thing later in the day, Adam's coming over in maybe an hour, rather than getting here as early in the morning as we first thought he might.

Am unsure whether to go out shopping for essential supplies for this evening now or later. Both have their up and down points...

...but I am unhappy about the TP shortage.
running, bomb tech

Harry Potter ramble (from my post to Sithacademy-talk@yahoogroups.com)

I must admit I don't have high hopes for the movie, but I'm probably going to end up seeing it anyway.

...My roommate, who has an avowed general sour attitude to most fiction (she used to like it, but now she's too "real" for it) has been eyeing my Harry Potter books with increasing interest as she's hearing more and more about the movie and how awesome it's supposed to be at work.

"...where the REAL money from the movie is....Merchandising! Spaceballs the t-shirt! ....Spaceballs the FLAME THROWER!"

My ex-fiance's mother went so far as to get me a stuffed Hedwig last year (before the fiance was ex) without knowing if I liked Harry Potter or not, just knowing that the series of books was "witchy" and therefore just the thing for me... and because it was my dad who had the books in the family, and we're now living a couple thousand miles apart, I did get myself paperback copies of the first three (sadly the US version; I'd like to devour the originals; it was Palpatine who came up with "regional differences" in movies/music/books) and I have been reading them while walking home from work at nearly eleven at night. (There's just no other really good time...) Perhaps this is not such a bright idea... I live in Phoenix Arizona, and while it's not a *bad* neighborhood, it is one where my roommate recommends going armed. I was the target of a drive-by Silly Stringing last night while I was reading on my stroll home...

Then there are the people who are fanatically opposed to the series. In my brief but Sithly career as a check-out clerk, I encountered a woman buying the whole set. I made a friendly comment about those books being an excellent choice. Wrong move! That set her off...and not at me, at the world in general. Those books were evil and immoral and she was buying them so she could go through them to point out all the wicked things in them. Her son had chosen the book to do a book report on (the book had NOT been specifically assigned in school) and she'd read it and then she got irate that such materials were being made available to children.

...I got curious. Apparently Harry's being a wizard was just fine. But when *Alcohol* was being portrayed as a positive influence... oh my! The girl at the next register over mentioned that pubs seem to be popular hangout spots for all ages elsewhere in the world, and suggested that perhaps the teacher could have explained that more carefully to the students... but oh no. The pub was fine. The butterbeer was fine. But when the *dragon* had been fed on *brandy* and the *brandy* had made him *grow*... that made *alcohol* a *nourishing influence*.

Yeah. I'd like a pint of brandy with some chicken's blood, please? I'm a very dangerous and illegal Norwegian Ridgeback, and I need to grow some more.
running, bomb tech

Oh my.

Well, we had our Halloween vomiting episode. Nephew filled up on candy at preschool, and hosed down the inside of Uncle Alan's car.

This before the holiday even officially really got started...
running, bomb tech

A little bit of Samhein spookiness

...went to a party at a certain art studio. There's a resident ghost there... cute little kid. Been there for a while. He snitched some keys while we were there. I gave him a hug and told them to go put them back.

...Next I saw the keys, they were right where I'd told him to put them.

Certainly a coincidence, but...