November 12th, 2001

running, bomb tech

Bizarre Weekend

Not exactly the most coherent mental time for any of us, me especially included. Very calm weekend, though. Talked with Votania's Dave last night; he told me I needed to learn C, C++, and Java to get by in the computer world.
running, bomb tech

Food

I cooked successfully last night.

Cookies, chocolate chip. Delicious.

Chicken, fried. Yummy.

Sauce, orange (to put on chicken). Maybe not so much of a success. Still good though. I was trying to duplicate the flavour of the place down the street. I got the colour and the texture, though... hmm. I'll have to work on it some more.

Votania prepared the rice, and has grasped the concept of my electric rice steamer now. It was excellently done.

I tempted Adam with the fact that I can cook. This morning I gave him some cookies.
running, bomb tech

Reaction

Another plane crash. I am going to be very calm, very very calm. I should be scared. I should be panicking. I should be crying and screaming and yelling and hiding under the pillow and things like that.

I'm numb again.

I want to reach out and grab one of my best friends by the hand. Adam. Darkside. Neighbor. Votania. Alan. This is not a time when people should be alone.

Somebody asked me today whether my ring was the good star or the bad star. She'd heard that one way meant good, and one way meant bad. I gave a brief history of the symbol, saying that it was the symbol of some pagan religions, and then the Christians stole it and used it point-up to symbolize Man standing upright under God. Then the Satanists took it and turned it upside down with the whole fallen angel thing. I am Wiccan, a religion based off some of those old pagan religions, and to me the one point up five pointed star symbolizes the microcosm, the universe within, and the two points up five pointed star symbolizes the macrocosm, the universe without, the universe as a whole.

...Wiccans are nondestructive and stuff like that.



The blood's drained from my face and I'm just waiting to see what's happening. I didn't hear anything about it from school. The TV may or may not have been on in the morning, but there was nothing on the news about a plane crash. I would have heard.

........goodbye, blue skies.



As clergy, I'm charged to do the right thing, and that means, in this case, to comfort and gie news to people who need someone to speak to, need someone to speak to them, need... ...need whatever it is that I'm capable of giving.

...blessed be.

I don't know what to do. How do I keep my strength when the strength leaks from the will of the nation? Grief. I am sick of grief. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want someone to cling to, who will cling to me, and we would both cry.

Adam? Darkside?

........................My hands are hot and sparking blue balls of energy, dangerous crystals, highly charged, little bits of ... something.

...My eyes are going to burn up and fall out of my head.


No.

No.

No.

No.

This cannot happen. I will not allow it.
Do you hear me? I say, NO MORE!!