December 29th, 2001

running, bomb tech

Bitchy

Not having a good day today. Been yelling about the stupidest little crap. Not enough sleep, either.

I'll feel better when I have bitchy witchy week, due any day now.
running, bomb tech

Night

I dreamed last night. I don't remember it, though. I didn't get to sleep until very late despite the herbal whammy ... there were witches cackling in the living room.

This morning I washed my face before I thought to check for tear-stains.
running, bomb tech

Work

I swear I'm leaving now...

Adam just looks so sweet, asleep in my bed... I missed him last night, too, even though it was Darkside I was looking for. (I call Darkside "Blondie" when I don't use his given name when speaking of him to Neighbor?) When Adam's aura is so near, it drives away Darkside... I wish that didn't happen.
running, bomb tech

Work is for Sleep

I got a good nap in at work. I guess I kept falling asleep on the phones. I woke up every thirty seconds, or whenever an answering machine or a person picked up. Occasionally I'd leave a phone ringing too long, but nothing drastic.

I didn't get anything resembling enough sleep last night. I miss Darkside. I miss Darkside.

Seeing two people in love reminds me of who I love, and where he isn't.
running, bomb tech

Still Bitchy

Bitchy Witchy Week is due at any moment. I don't know when it's going to hit, but it had damn better hit soon. I've been shattering, falling apart, on the verge of tears or screaming these past several days.

What's wrong with me?
running, bomb tech

Still.

Now I'm going off on music. I don't want to listen to anything. I just want silence. I grew up with a lot of silence, and every now and then I need it. Most of the time I like music.

I just hate rap, and I am not particularly fond of anything that gets overplayed.

Votania, of course, likes rap, particularly the Blac Monks, and she has a certain few CD's that get played, and played, and played, and played. Most of them, I normally like.

The thought of listening to Delirium right now makes me want to throw stuff and scream.

Votania put in the Matrix soundtrack. I went in my room and shut the door.

This isn't good. I don't know what to do. I feel like yelling and screaming and crying, but that would be losing control. I know I won't want to do those things as soon as I regain myself, but I've just been unlivable this past week.
running, bomb tech

In other words

...I've been in a generally unlivable mood since Christmas. Yikes. Today's the 29th. That's four days.