January 19th, 2003

Azzcalm, Quiet


I've dealt with several varieties of hermiting.

Mine is simple: I hole up quietly and contact only the people I most desperately need to see, and not the people that I have any suspicion will reject me for any reason at all. If I'm hermited and you want to see me, don't wait for me to see you, for when I'm hermited, I usually don't trust that you will want to see me, and prefer to avoid rejection by not doing anything to seek you out. If I don't want to see you right then, I'll likely not come out if you come over, or not post so much as an acknowledgement to a comment you leave in my journal.

I've seen Darkside in frustrated, fuming, steaming programmingtrance enough times to know it for what it is, a variety of hermiting, and to know that if I just sit there quietly by him, he'll eventually explode out with whatever's on his mind, and then calm down and cheer up. I know him.

It confuses me, though, when hermiting is switched off and on, lightningfast, especially where the hermit needs advice, especially advice from me, but then after getting the advice, needs or wants no more contact, yet needs the advice to be within hollering range. This confuses me greatly. Now that I know that it is this that is confusing me, though, I can hack at understanding it.

How do two different OS's look so similar on the surface?
  • Current Mood
    grumpy grumpy
high energy magic

First Post

Got Red online (again). Have not yet figured out how to have Enki dynamically assign IP addresses to my happy computers on his network. Therefore, am assigning them by hand.

By dint of much mind-whammying and the repeated application of the same bloody information over and over into Red's IP address settings box, Red is now talking to the 'net.

Idiot fucker. Stupid computer. I understand the whole 'not doing things if not done exactly right' bit... but need I sacrifice a cat beneath a full moon every time as well? You are not making any of us happy, computer, and rest assured that you and all the nasty gritty sand in the desert will have an up-close-and-personal rendezvous if you do not start behaving better... and I mean that in the most intimately painful manner you can wrap your electrons around.
  • Current Music
    Red cowering
running, bomb tech


Have successfully gotten all computers but Neo on the network. Bottleneck there: my misunderestimations of Linux, plus lack of a cable long enough.

Enki is a dick and a bitch. Chronos is cranky. Red is an outright bastard and I'm beginning to see why votania wants to strangle the thing. I've never felt that hostile towards a bit of computer in my life but for the ones that were running Win95.

But I have prevailed where minds with less sleep were sent to bed.
  • Current Mood
    predatory predatory
loud fayoumis


IP addresses: how we geeks figure out who's gotten too pissed...
  • Current Mood
    geeky geeky
running, bomb tech

Happy Lunatic

Woke up this morning; called Darkside.

Got to talk for half an hour before he was called away by the Lord & Lady of the house. He was working on the computer. Still sick. Bronchitis. I worry... He and I both hate his schedule. We hates it! We hates it forever, precious! He hasn't seen Nemesis yet. I recommended it to him.

Stand up straight and tell the truth. Distractions. Gods. He can Work on me, because I trust him that much...
running, bomb tech


Yahoo's lagging horribly again. I'm just trying to read my mail... it should not take five minutes to load up one bloody e-mail.
running, bomb tech


A baby black widow in the kitchen?

Time to vacuum. Severely.
running, bomb tech


Why should I be so boggled by the idea that others would be boggled by my seeing beauty in them, when I myself boggle at the concept that someone -- several someones -- should have a bit of an online crush on me?

Every person is, in their own way, beautiful. Beauty of the mind, beauty of the body, beauty of the spirit... some combination of those. We all have bits that could be improved upon. Perfection is not noted for being a human trait.

So many times, though, we don't delight in what we can do well, what we're good at, what makes us beautiful, from ridicule, from fear of being narcissistic. We focus on the bad bits. My skin should be clearer. I should lose weight. I can't write well. I can't spell. I can't speak in front of others. I can't make up my own mind. Everybody keeps picking on me.

And then, our minds full of these doubts in beauty and certainties in ugliness, we deny it when others delight in our beauty. It hurts, then, to hear that the beauty we see is not seen, is not shared, with the person whose beauty it is, and we begin, in turn, to doubt in the beauty in ourselves...
lonely, spock

(no subject)

He is sweetness to my sorrow, and bitter to my sweet. He is my curse, and my comfort. I gather him stones with which to pelt me, and he piles them in a fortress for my defense. I lay roses at his feet to his praise, and he whips himself with their thorns, burning me by the bright blood shed...
  • Current Mood
    pensive pensive
running, bomb tech

Kobayashi Maru

If I push for my way, I am too bossy and controlling.

If I try to compromise, somehow, no one is happy.

If I give up, I am unhappy and no one else is happy either.

I am frustrated with people who can't be arsed to move.
Azzcalm, Quiet


Talking great. Writing out inspirations before bursting out with them: better. Listening to the inspirations of others: excellent.

Sounding like we are about to institute drastic household change on a moment's notice: bad.
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful thoughtful
teddyborg, geeky

Computers, computers, computers...

Working on the LAN. We have two network switches: Old Faithful and Hawking. Enki will only talk to Old Faithful. Red, Tigereye, and Chronos will all talk to either Old Faithful or Hawking. Since that's the way it is, and since Chronos and Neo are essentially clones, I have Hawking in my room, and Old Faithful in the living room: that way, only the uplink will have to sneak under my door to connect the two stars.

I'll reconfigure cords to get Neo on the network later.
  • Current Mood
    geeky geeky