February 5th, 2003

running, bomb tech

*sigh* Morning...

I'm at school, and quasi-awake: it is Zombie Time.

Management is fun. Web is a lab, but I have to stick around so I can get a bus pass from the bookstore.

After this, I need to get myself some mechanical pencils.
running, bomb tech

Commentary on self sparked by past stuff

I had been talking about selfhood, its mutability, and security, and I have observed that the past few months since the end of October have been a time of change and trial.

votania has only briefly known me when I have been unpartnered/badly partnered. marxdarx has never known me as a solitary self.

I as I am without a local or high-communication best friend/soulsib is very much not who I am partnered. They're beginning to meet the solitary me, and she's not very nice.
running, bomb tech

Clusterfuck..

Chef cluster goes read-only for a bit.

How to tell what cluster you're on: go here.

I'm on the Cartman cluster.
running, bomb tech

Once again...

...we see that while my sexual TMI squickpoint is higher than Darkside's, his bathroom squickpoint is higher than mine.

I'll call him later.
documentation, writing, quill

Things Moving Fast (set the alarm clock with Joan)

Tried to sleep this afternoon after I got in from morning classes. Somewhat worked.

On the way in, I saw the manager chick. She'd totally spaced our carpet cleaning, and will schedule it for Thursday. I think that means tomorrow. We'll see.

I helped the Little Fayoumis with his homework. Let him know that I was not in a patient mood, and it made me mad when he called me over to have me help and then he played with the pen instead of doing his homework. I left until he started to do it again and needed some help identifying some of the unfamilar pictures.

votania left for work. I called ralmathon to confirm him babysitting. I fed lunch to the Little Fayoumis and put myself down for a nap, after checking my mail, et cetera. This put the clock at one.

Dawn called around three-ish. Couldn't get back to sleep. Called Darkside. He was unavailable. Proceeded to shower and putter around the house, doing dishes and so forth.

ralmathon came over to keep an eye on the Little Fayoumis while I went to class. I called Darkside, and proceeded to learn that an old friend of his from high school (no one I know) is getting married, and he was waiting for the phone call about dates and times and other information like that. He told me this after hearing the latest about Little Fayoumis (chess, rooks shooting arrows, and so forth) and having a bit of a gossip. Only five minutes. That's not long enough.

Had the usual amount of fun in Systems Analysis. I am shining at the Data Flow Diagrams, and led my group along while most of them were boggled. Felt the telltale signs of brain-burnout partway in, and led them off to the lab, where I made some pretty and happy DFD's as they struggled with Visio. I taught them about it, and they seemed to be doing better when I left just before ten.

I was trying to get home before Dawn called back. Walking, I realized that I had all my energy back: I must have kicked the depression somehow. Then I began listing off the contributing factors to the feeling of no energy.

First, I've been very down about not seeing Darkside. This hasn't been so much of a problem now that I have a strategy in place. I'm going to show up on Saturday mornings and surprise him, with the knowledge and consent of his mother. Now that I have the plan, and know that it's workable, I'm not going to be half so dejected about the whole prospect of not seeing my beloved best friend often, if ever. He's the one with the car; I'm the one with the motivation. Motivation on my part is going to make both of us happier.

Second, I've been entirely too stressed over the whole situation with starbrow and her family. Now that she's safely in Texas, and is in the immediate realm of someone I trust implicitly, it is No Longer My Problem, which frees up an enormous amount of processing power.

Third, I finally had enough energy to make morning classes. This is a good thing.

I was feeling very chipper by the time I got home, until faced with the doorknob. I knocked, as I'd left my key on the bathroom counter. No answer. I continued to knock for some time. I called from my cellphone. No answer. I heard the phone ring; it must have been Dawn. I stomped around to the back door and tried it. No luck. I knocked.

marxdarx had been in the shower. Couldn't be mad at him; steamed about the situation for a bit. Got on LJ hoping to cool down.

Limits? Post limits?

I'm glad I'm a permanent user. I go a little over 20 entries/day, but that's generally because of chat logs and bookmarks. I like LJ, and... mrr. Distinctly mixed feelings. I like my community, and I don't want to see any changes for the worse in it, but I understand the reasonings.

*sigh*...

Called Dawn. Chatted about stuff. Felt distracted. Too much moving about in my mind.

Tomorrow: More dishes, vacuuming, rearrangement of furniture, walking on washclothes, and probably a lot of reading in my room. Calling Darkside, it is to be hoped. Dawn'll call back on Sunday.
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