April 15th, 2003

running, bomb tech


Tonight, I hope to dream of my beloved(s).

I hope to dream of rope, and kisses. I hope to dream of long brown curly hair wrapped around my fingers, touches so knowing as to verge on masturbation. I hope to dream of kind and manic sex, and companionable snuggles after. I hope to have the breath knocked from me with a gentle touch, my heart stilled and exploded with a few impossible words.

That last is counted four times over. Best friend and Knight eternal for the Loony, shieldmate and colleague for Dagger. The hope, the trust, the faith, and guiding light of Marah. The gentle man who shelters, cherishes, nourishes, and programs with N%.
running, bomb tech

A little piece of my mind

I want to have a few words at Malfoy Senior.

I understand that you're actively encouraging that Darkside join the Air Force. Are you aware of his feelings on the subject?

Let me tell you a little about what can happen when you're working a job you hate. My father hated his job for the last two to three years he worked there. He would come home grouchy, and wake up in the middle of the night vomiting. He was cross about going to work in the mornings, and everyone around him tried to avoid him. Especially his wife. And his kids.

My father didn't feel that he could leave his job, because it was a good, secure job that paid well, and it would not be wise to take up a new job since, as a self-taught old-school programmer, he lacked the minimum credentials that even entry-level programmers require.

What makes you think that Darkside would do well in the military? Have you ever shut your mouth and listened to what he thinks of it?

I think that if I were in your shoes, I might give my adult son credit his self-knowledge and honesty in admitting that a particular career is something he would not like, perhaps even hate, and I would support him in finding something that would not only utilize his new skills, but that he would enjoy. He already has a stable, dependable job that will see him through until he does find a real career; he has proven many times over that he can tenaciously stick to any thankless task, as he is possibly even more stubborn than you are. Do NOT pressure him into leaving a job he is secure in, though he dislikes, to take a job he would feel guilty for leaving, even though he hates it. Dislikes is not necessarily hates. Your son dislikes his current job. He has had enough experience with the military in his childhood to form a valid opinion of it.

Your son does desire your good opinion. He does desire a good job that pays well, has security, and is something that he enjoys doing. After leaving his former job, my father threw out or gave away all his computer developer tools. I do not want to see Darkside's joy in computers spoiled that same way.

Ease off. Even though you are trying to help, you are not helping when you push him towards something he has repeatedly, and firmly, said that he does not want. I would far rather, and think you would too, that he spend his spare time and energy searching for a job that does suit him, rather than fighting you. He wasted a morning recently meeting with the Air Force, even though he didn't want to, because it would shut you up and, I QUOTE, "buy him more time".

There are other computer-related jobs in the US government than in the military. The IRS is always looking for a few good programmers, and your son is steady and reliable. The FBI's computer crimes division is based in Phoenix. One of their agents came in and spoke about security a few months ago. He and I were both enthralled. Don't waste your time butting heads with him. Suggest things he may not have thought of.

It hurts me to see him so constantly frustrated. The economy sucks. I hope he finds a good job that he likes soon.
running, bomb tech

The one...

Not only is Darkside the one who has never betrayed me... he's also the one who has never allowed me to lie to him.

I don't do big lies.

But the little ones? The unmeant "I'm fine"... that kind? He dispenses with that bullshit and drags my true feelings, ugly, kicking, and screaming, into the light.

It's even OK that I love him.
running, bomb tech


Little Fayoumis did his homework excellently, put his folder in his backpack, hung his coat up, and is now playing his video game, as he did make his day.

The toilet is no longer clogged, but the floor remains as is, with towels.

I am still asleep.

It has been demonstrated that my glasses case is not in my purse or backpack,

Lunch has been served to Little Fayoumis. Lunch, in this case, is a cheese and bologna sandwich, with strawberry soda and a banana.
running, bomb tech


I will likely be unwilling and unable to marry anyone other than Darkside while he is still alive.
running, bomb tech

Interesting page, and my take on it. Well, Marah's take on it, anyway.


I think one of the hidden female standards is "not boring".

Money makes men interesting, because they might give stuff to you. Lack of money means, unless the man is particularly creative, the same old things at the same old places. Boring.

Being a nice guy involves being attentive, and reassuring, huggable, and constant. The same all the time. Boring. If you manage to be a jerk, but in new, exciting, and unpredictable ways, this is not boring. Stringing a girl along so she thinks that she might be able to get some from you (whether "some" is sex, attention, gifts, or whatever), and changing the rules at the last instant? Not boring.

Accountant? Very much the same all the time. Stable. Boring.
Tattooed rebel biker? The same, but in new and exciting ways. Not boring. (Though eventually the woman will likely get bored with the biker, and settle down with the accountant's very non-boring money.)

I currently have an Unrequited Love Interest, a very good friend (male), who would probably not get drunk in the first place to have the sex he'd never admit to afterwards. I think my instincts may be parsing "really not interested" as "playing hard-to-get", and this is a Challenge that no woman in her right mind would touch, which is exactly what makes it so irresistable.

Males go for attractive, trophy females that they can display proudly, with "attractive" being whatever floats their boat, not necessarily what's in fashion this spring. The competitive female goes for "challenge" males, so she can display before and after views of him as a trophy. See this guy here in the suit, who's worth a couple billion? He was a worthless scumbag biker when I met him. Yep, all mine don't touch him you slut!

And then, of course, now even though he's rich, he's boring, so one divorces him and takes care to yank half or more of the money, and goes after another very interesting, but very dangerous, male.
documentation, writing, quill

Notes for Marx

Votania will not be able to take you to school on Wednesday. Bus is our friend.
Votania will not get her parking pass at work until Friday.
Saturday morning, the plan is to head to the Studio to sell pretty shinies.
After that, going to Marx's mom's to spend night until Sunday.
Plans should be confirmed with yo' momma.
Little Fayoumis, Nephew


Litle Fayoumis understands the subtle distinction between "You are grounded from my room" and "You may not come in my room because it is messy and I am too grouchy."
running, bomb tech


Tomorrow is Wednesday.

It is also April 16th.

It is also a full moon.
running, bomb tech

This friends page is getting out of hand.

Consequently, I'm going through and removing the journals I tend to skim rather than read on a regular basis. If you were removed, feel free to remove me from your friends list, or keep me, whichever you wish.
running, bomb tech

On the Orgasm

Sex is like a road trip, sometimes.

First, we have your orgasm-centered sex. This is all about getting to the orgasm.

This is like the trip to the Grand Canyon where one MUST get to the Grand Canyon. Perhaps there is even a timetable, with the hours it will take to drive marked off, and if one falls behind, one must rush and even speed a little, because we're GOING to the Grand Canyon, dammit. One generally takes the fastest freeways, even if they are crowded and no one really likes driving on them, since that's the fastest way to go.

And if you don't get there, you will wind up with a car full of cranky, crying kids and/or adults.

Then, we have your sex just for sex.

This is the trip to the Grand Canyon that's all about the sightseeing. You can pull over and investigate that nice river, stop at the diner, and laugh about the hilarious road signs and cool mailboxes. You may turn off the planned route and go exploring, and may find something worth re-visiting later, or maybe not. When you do, eventually get to the Grand Canyon, it's likely just as cool as you thought it would be, since you haven't tired yourself out with anticipation beforehand, and aren't already grumpy.

Sex can be fun. But if the orgasm is the be-all and end-all, you might as well just stick to masturbation.