September 2nd, 2003

wild rose

Misspellings, canonoical

Once upon a far-after-midnight not-so-dreary, sithjawa and I chatted, weak and weary -- and I slipped a letter, and spelled my slumberland as "slpee".

Since then, it's become customary for me to spell it that way when I'm utterly exhausted and really need to get some as soon as possible. Slpee, that is, not the other.
running, bomb tech

Dreams

I dreamed that I was a... hm. Apprentice? Errand person? on... some kind of ship. I was a Vulcan. I think it was a starship.

And I got handfasted or something.

My big bro ralmathon showed up in the dream too.

Then I woke up and had a long chat with my uterus, reminding it of its duties.
running, bomb tech

Morning

Went to lab, and spent the better part of two hours staring at the guts of a firewall. Propz to me: I'm becoming more proficient at the command-line thing. More propz to me: I made sure that we could get online beforehand. This took some doing. We finally had to call over the Lab Guy (well, in this case, the "petite female" version of guy), who looked at it and told us to do what we'd been doing after verifying that all our information was in order... and it worked.

I showed Sam2 the relevant koan.

I then proceeded to type in the rules for the firewall, line by line, until Sandstrom came over and commented that it would be an awful lot easier if we were putting them in a file, so we could run them later at will. He recommended vi, and told me that actually, the way I was doing it was the way he'd do it, testing first before putting into a file...

Scary and evil things happened, at least from the viewpoint of the Sams; man and -h saw me at least limping through putting stuff into vi, which later proved to be in a way that was... well... not really good, since it wouldn't save to the file I thought it was saving to, was beyond the expertise of the lab guy, and finally required Sandstrom's intervention.

And we never did finish the firewall.
running, bomb tech

Scheduling, complex/simple

You win some, you lose some.

marxdarx has every third week off school now, or some such thing. So, he does get his much-needed time to rest -- and it delays his graduation.

It does make it a little more simple for us, arranging schedules -- Little Fayoumis won't have to come to classes with me those weeks.
high energy magic

Wow! More Muggle friends!

godai just reminded me that yaksha42 is not, in fact, my only Muggle friend. godai is a Muggle, and come to think of it, Mama's probably a Muggle too. We won't even go into FatherSir, who may well have been Muggle-born, and ran away from his acceptance letter into Hogwarts because it tripped him out.
running, bomb tech

*groan*

Why does the Pope not have a cellphone?

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Yes, this one's all my fault. Bad puns have to originate somewhere, right?
trust, best friends forever, snot-nosed brats

*blush* He *cares*??

Called the Maniac. He was sick and grouchy. He grouched at me for calling, and grouched at me for text messaging (which, it seems, does work... and his phone beeps, and does not quit beeping until he acknowledges, which is worst of all... eep...). When I got quiet and meepish and apologetic for disturbing him, he got gentle.

*loud blush*

I can withstand the grouchiness. I've learned to weather it, these past nearly-three years. It cuts me, it wounds me, it sandpapers me, it gouges me, if I'm vulnerable and he grouches wrong -- but I'm used to that. It's the way he is. He was born a Cancer, and he's learned the defenses of a Cancer, doubly crabby. I've learned that he's dire and grouchy and any time he grouches, it's because that's the way he is, and after a few minutes of feeling hurt, there I am again, and I know better than to do that next time. It was more embarrassment and chagrin at having disturbed him, this time. But I meeped and got quiet, and instead of hanging up immediately, or letting me hang up, he got gentle.

Him, being gentle?

That, just now, undid a major section of defense, just as much as it would had he pulled the lacing from my bodice in one deft swipe. Carefully-armored parts of me are tingling, exposed to his touch...

It tells me that he cares about my emotions. More, it tells me that he's learning me, and knows he sometimes makes me hurt, and he doesn't want to do that.



Shawn would hurt me. Never physically, but sometimes it was deliberate, and sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes he just wanted to see how I'd react. Sometimes he was getting his way and he didn't care what got in the way of that. Sometimes he was just being himself. And if he noticed (sometimes he did) he rarely bothered to even try to make things better with me. I was hurt. I'd get over it.

BJ would visibly bend over backwards to make me feel better, but would near-inevitably manage to do it in such a fucking inept/Wrong way as to make me feel worse, and feel the worse for feeling worse when he was obviously trying to patch things over. Ungrateful. Mean. Petty. Why should I be the one to make him bend over backwards when he has a spine injury? I should really be the one bending for him...

River would bend over so far backwards he'd touch his heels with his head, and he was flexible enough to do that -- physically. However, if you accidentally stepped wrong with him, he wouldn't tell you so you could avoid it next time...



Darkside isn't Mr. Perceptive, in general. For the most part, he doesn't pay much attention to the people around him; he didn't even notice that he'd been hurtful when a good friend of his came in to the computer lab while he was working, and he gave a grouchy brush-off because he was busy. He was just absorbed, and it didn't occur to him that he might have hurt someone. If he'd noticed, he would have been sorry -- he didn't notice. And that was a good friend.


  1. He pays attention to my reactions.

  2. He cares about my well-being.

  3. Once he's noticed and cared, he cares enough to expose the soft animal inside his crabby shell enough to say something to try and make me feel better.

  4. When he's saying something, he's progressed from saying The Exact Wrong Thing to The Exact Right Thing.

  5. So he's been paying attention to my responses when he says the Wrong Thing, as well as remembering what worked and didn't work for him.




  6. My brain just broke.

  • Current Mood
    loved awed
running, bomb tech

Dawn put it a little more bluntly...

"Who is this person, and when did the aliens abduct Darkside?"

We were all in college together, and Darkside wasn't known for his plays-well-with-others skills, not even with close friends.
running, bomb tech

I misread a meme, which spawned another one. Time Capsule of You.

[Edit: Because I was really zonked last night and crashed slightly after finishing this, I didn't properly cite my source, which is this. And it turns out that I didn't misread it at first after all (it was oddly worded, which has been changed), which means I get to spawn another one which will be what I thought it said when I thought I'd misread it the first time.]


Suppose you were to put together a time capsule to represent your life. This time capsule would be opened 100 years from now. What 15 items would you put in to represent you to the future, and why?

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