March 6th, 2004

running, bomb tech


Went to work. Ran into the usual suspects. Introduced trystan_laryssa to the fact that while I was certainly giggly and silly, I wasn't exactly hyper. Listened to her babble anime at me: Fruits Basket.

Got a few interesting people on the phone. There was the person who mashed buttons at me, for about thirty seconds. Obnoxious, but not vastly so. There was the guy who growled that I was a telemarketer at me; I got to be slightly fresh with him. There was the guy who asked what state I was calling from, then suggested that I wouldn't want to call this number again. Why? Evidently it was the Secret Service. Either that or a social engineer.

And then there was Senile!Woman. I don't know who the hell she was, but no information stayed in her mind for longer than ten seconds, if that. I told her that I was not selling anything. She responded that unless I told her what I was selling, she couldn't buy it, and she had her credit card out. She asked where we were located. I told her Phoenix, AZ. She asked if that was in Nevada. She asked me what the survey was about. I told her. She Didn't Get It. Deaf, senile, an avatar of Eris, or all three at once. We went around and around like this for eight minutes. After I managed to get her through the first few questions and off the introduction, she (thank gods) disqualified from the survey on one of the security questions. Getting her off the introduction was the hard part.

I did up a cartoon, though, and the lady who runs the training ran off with it to the copy machines.

I got 6 hours of work today. Yay, me.
exhausted, tired, Azzsleep

Remind me why I took this shift again?

8 in the morning, and I'm grudgingly awake. Time to head off to work.

I still have the most difficulty remembering my dreams when I'm half-awake, overheated, and exhausted.

I'll perk up once I hit the phones. *smack*
exhausted, tired, Azzsleep

Bleh: home.

We had the usual complement of freaks and psychos today. And we got to stay the full eight hours.

Snaa, hiss.

At least the money isn't bad.
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    grumpy grumpy
running, bomb tech


I figure that half the problem with the dynamics between Little Fayoumis and the rest of the household is that it's Alpha dynamics, something I've tried to stay as far the hell away from as I can for as long as I can.

Little Fayoumis is an alpha-in-training, raised by an Alpha mother, and marxdarx is a former omega who's now the mate of an Alpha and is trying to be a mate that is worthy of an Alpha.

And I've noticed that there's a subtle spin on many of the problematic interactions.

Little Fayoumis, I've found, reacts best to corrective lessons in the form of "so you will be right".

Alphas are apt to give corrective lessons in the form "Because I'm right."

When two Alphas get into a "I'm more right than you are" battle, it lasts as long as they both have strength, because they have both set up their battle camps, and the battle lasts until one of them finally loses face and submits. Neither of them can afford to submit. It can go on for years, I would guess.

I'm accustomed to being the top beta under the Alpha. Was I born and early-raised Alpha? Oh, yes. Somewhere in there, though, sometime between the all-night screaming match between me and FatherSir (I can't have been more than four; we were in the cabin, and I was in my bed by the window and he didn't come and tuck me in and he said he wouldn't, and I swore I would make a big noisy fuss until he did, and he swore he still wouldn't, and I think I finally must have passed out from exhaustion around three or four in the morning) and when swallowtayle's plans were automatically the ones that would get done, somewhere in there I gave up. I suppose having the leadership and the temper in one package for two generations was enough; I got the temper and swallowtayle got the leadership. I became the invisible-like-air Second to a (short) succession of powerful men. I learned manipulation, guile, and submission. Oh, did I learn submission.

(Note: explore the conceit of a split elemental nature and the multiples thing. Marah says she's Water.)

At the end of it, I learned how to stand up and submit gracefully because I willed it so, and dominate when I had to, because I willed it so. You don't get in the crossfire when votania and I are at odds. You just don't.

Somehow, I don't know how, I managed to make it so that the Little Fayoumis does things when I tell him to. I guess I try not to make him go all defensive, mostly out of enlightened self-interest, because I think he's a whiny little brat when he does that and he reminds me entirely too much of myself. So when I do get him to do things, it's with minimal force, and effective force. And sometimes we get the crying fits and the tantrums and all that other unhappy stuff, but relatively rarely...

I guess I've gotten, with him, to the point where I don't even have to say You will do it because I say you will, I just look at him, and he does. And I guess I avoid saying "Go to the corner until you stop being bad" and instead say "Go to the corner until you can start being good."
bleeding, Ryoko

Why I'm Going To Be Useless Tomorrow

Tomorrow I volunteered for a double shift.

In hell.

I could barely stand up to my single eight-hour shift today. What makes me think I can pull a six and a half hour and a seven hour? What?
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