April 21st, 2004

bleeding, Ryoko

Repression

Reading Lolita in Tehran disturbs me greatly.

...You can't even wear pink socks...??
trust, best friends forever, snot-nosed brats

Well...

I should have expected things like this.

I declare Intent on the 16th.
I am seduced towards Scotland immediately following.
There are further developments as well.

I referred to this effect as something along the lines of "shaking out the rug" or somesuch. Big things like this cause all sorts of related things to shake out.

I shall hold on, while my beloved best friend becomes a bear, a snake, a wolf, all manner of things. Last time I failed. The universe gives me more second chances than I deserve.
  • Current Mood
    determined determined
running, bomb tech

Crisis or epiphany?

Spinning off what the Manifestress said:

Mid-Life Crisis? No, Mid-Life Epiphany.

It's just that some people treat the realizations that they come to when they re-evaluate themselves as a crisis situation. And perhaps instead of making natural progressions to fix things, they freak out about it and do something entirely extreme, often something that doesn't fix the original issue at all.


I'm realizing, right now, how bad I am at some things, and how much I model my communication style after the communication style of those around me who I'm supposed to be communicating with. I haven't yet worked up the nerve to push communications on anyone who isn't communicating back, save for the one, and that's a special case, because it's someone who might as well be a part of me. (So when one's got an important contact who doesn't communicate, I model the communications style... and I need to learn not to.)


Now... how to make it so that Awful Realizations do not crush our worlds?
running, bomb tech

Dreams...

I dreamed that there was some sattelite uplink or something for wireless connectivity. sithjawa was driving a car with the uplink device in it, and "we" (whoever the other person and I were -- I think it was some man? Older?) were going to test this. Only we had to be in a good place to test the signal strength.

Steph parked her car on the flat straight highway's edge, and we went further up the muddy mountain road to a good stopping point. Only there wasn't one, and the bouncing of the car and fading in and out of signal was not good for me testing with my PDA.

We eventually got stuck/parked in the driveway of a household, and sought shelter there. We traded items and work for hospitality. I'm not sure how we got unstuck.

Then I think I woke up or something.
fangirl, _schools4303

Ateva Phrasing

Last night, I found myself phrasing myself infelicitously to my roommatesister, giving her only two choices of activity for the next day. I quickly added in a third.

I also hasten to reassure readers that my "declaration of Intent" as mentioned last night is not Intent (of assassination), but instead Intent (of actually doing something).
bleeding, Ryoko

...

...I think I have to stop reading that book.

It's very rare that a piece of writing disturbs me so badly that I have to stop reading it. I can't handle the reality of what goes on in revolutions and under extremist governments.
running, bomb tech

More Dreams

Dreamed I was pregnant. I evidently lost that baby, or maybe I had it, and then I was pregnant again -- either twins or triplets.

I was telling tyrantmouth about it or something.

Note: I have not been doing anything out-of-dream that would get me pregnant.
trust, best friends forever, snot-nosed brats

Phone

Called Darkside around tennish. He purred sadly that he was working today and therefore wouldn't have time to talk, but we'd talk some other time.

This is somewhat of a new development, the "some other time", or maybe I'm just now noticing it.
teddyborg, geeky

Weeeeird: room temperature small beer, orange-flavored?

I think my Mountain Dew Livewire has started to ferment. It tastes ... odd, and feels chemically odd. Not in a bad way -- I've been getting sensitive to that -- but in a way that feels like I don't know whether I need to stagger and hiccup or bounce and giggle (because this is loaded with caffiene as well).

Odd.

It's time to go to work, soon, and I don't drive anyway.

It tastes less sweet than Livewire usually does. My roommate warned me that that would be the case.