December 4th, 2004

silly, bunny ears

Boyfriend (or not)

azwriter has declared that since I've been Invited To The Family Holiday, that Darkside's as good as a boyfriend, and they'll start referring to him as that for convenience's sake.

As far as I'm concerned, Darkside shan't be my boyfriend unless he declares that he is my boyfriend of his own free will.

This is something I dare not leave to ambiguity and assumption.

Darkside's been my best friend for years. It's hard for me to emotionally comprehend that there was a time before I knew him, even though there's always the lurching, lurking terror that someday the man will lose himself so far that no one will ever be able to find him again. The friendship is based on mutual liking, and trust. ("Like" is for salads. Nevertheless...) I know his relationship history. He has been the comforting shoulder and the one to wipe my tears away and tell me everything is going to be all right for the past four years of my relationship history -- and he was the one who stayed up until all hours holding me while I cried away the terrors of 1996, he was the one who made sure that the permissions I'd given were taken back again, and he was the one who un-did the curse of my relationship with BJ. Anyone who thinks that my relationships are unduly tumultuous now would probably not want to contemplate how they were before 2003.

Through trial and error, we've worked out where we draw the lines. Any two people getting this close to each other had probably better either be married or have very, very good boundaries. He and I aren't married. This is one of the lines we don't cross. We're best friends. I love him. He cares for me more than he often expresses. But we're not dating.

Even though more and more signs are starting to point toward "he likes me likes me" than "he likes me not", we won't be dating until he says we are.
silly, bunny ears

The phone is a good, good thing.

I spent a good portion of time on the phone with a certain Darkside. There are certain things that neither of us can stand: tabloids and womens' magazines. I seem to have a greater tolerance for them than he does, though.

We talked of many things, including some things of crucial importance that had a street date of "after I've mentioned it to him first".

Game isn't on for a while, so he has Saturday afternoons free now for a while. *ponders the imponderable*

Pun wars are a bad, bad thing. Both of us wind up being very, very goofy. (Well, that's a good thing, but the pun wars are still Bad.) His phone and my phone both cut out together, so I wound up being the one to call back. He really isn't a phone geek like I am. Which reminds me, one of my next degrees should be in telecommunications, because I love telecommunications. (I took a rotary phone apart with swallowtayle's help when I was five-ish, and drew detailed pictures of the interior, all with my father's blessing. This was the start of a happy delight in all forms of telecommunications fun.)

We really do need to see each other more often.
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Street Date of News

As of approximately midnight either late night Nov 28th or early morning Nov 29th, I am Officially Single.

Monogamous boys are cute sometimes. They don't always know what to say when their best friend and their best friend's girlfriend have an amicable breakup after a long-distance relationship trails off to a peaceful point of closure, complete with diverging relationship needs.

...oddly enough, Darkside doesn't remember telling me "Trust No One" as strongly as I remember him saying it. (This, apropos of my declaration that in this case, there wouldn't be Bad Relationship Fallout afterwards over breeches of trust in the form of people reading chat logs, and then commenting that even if my ex-girlfriend did read my chat logs, it would be nothing to get worked up over, as I trust her. "Even though I know you say 'Trust No One'," I added. This, of course, led into discussions of the X-Files and computers and assorted other giggliness.)

So. Yeah. That was why I was a little boggled last week.
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