April 5th, 2005

Housewife's Lament


Figment took me out to run some mutual errands (me bleeding, him dealing with paperwork and theoretically getting a haircut, though he's as shaggy as ever at the moment) and we came back to my place to the quasi-alarming sight of my front door open!

It turned out to be the too-young-to-be-a-leftover-hippy maintenance guy and a plumber working on the dishwasher. The problem had been a kink in the hot water hose, a problem that was soon fixed. My dishwasher runs now! I am happy!

As I told Figment, though, "Does this mean I'm going to have to start cooking again?"

Blinds are up (crooked). Dishwasher runs. Cabinets will be installed as soon as they arrive, in theory. Now all I really need fixed is the peephole on the front door, which affords me a nice view of a blurry paint-splotched patch of light and/or dark outside. I can live with the shower being odd.
Azzcalm, Quiet

A day, a day, a veritable day: busy, and social contact thresholds

For a day with so little going on, today was busy. Out of all the people who I see regularly, I see Figment the most. My regular chat partners may notice that I've been initiating chats far more rarely. This doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you guys -- it tends to mean that my urge-to-initiate-social-contact threshold has not been reached, because I'm spending time with Figment.

Since I'm only semi-social, it takes a certain amount of social intimacy before I'll feel comfortable initiating a random chat about nothing in particular, so my social drive has to be engaged before I will do that in most cases. (Specific chats when I have something on my mind are different; random chats when it's someone I know very well are different; chats when someone I haven't talked to in ages who I want to talk to pops online are different.) But I have to be bored and/or in need of social contact to initiate a chat with someone who is not terribly close under normal circumstances. Stress and the need to talk with someone outside a situation drives the need for social contact up, of course, but depending on the stress and the situation, it may be only a few people who I need to contact.

Previously, I would scatter my need for social contact through a specific but flexible set of online and phone-contact friends. Despite having distinct social contact need thresholds that have to be crossed before I'll initiate contact, I'm the sort of person who usually does have about three chat windows open when I'm at the computer and assorted friends are online, and I wind up talking to an assortment of friends on the telephone regularly. Dawn's a person I used to exchange around five calls a week with; I've talked a lot with amberfox more recently, and back in high school, good ol' Fuzzy Modem and I wound up spending about as much time together on the phone as we did in person. (Incidentally, if Dot Shelley ever reads this, the last e-mail address I had for you went blooey after we drifted out of contact, but there's stuff going on in my life that I so very much want to update you on. It's Joanie from Fairbanks AK, and we got to know each other through Shawn W.) Currently, Figment's filling most of my real-time one-on-one social contact needs, which definitely makes things interesting. He's wound up right in the middle of a lot of my life, which is both nice and slightly alarming, nice because he's a good person and I like him, and alarming because it's all happened so fast and he's wound up in the middle of so very much.

Today's busy, after running errands, wound up being my laundry, his bank, our dinner, and then a nice leisurely drive out to spend a little time at the LDS Temple in Mesa. (My idea, actually, based on his stress level.) Following that, he wound up on my floor for a nap to ensure driving safety. There was some Darkside-related social scheming interlaced with much of this.

I'm relatively certain that Figment's usual social contacts who don't know me are approximately as concerned/boggled by his current level of contact with me as mine are about him. We're Evil Twins, though, which makes life really interesting.
bleeding, Ryoko

A Lack of Contact

Figment came up with a brilliant idea: Darkside lights up when he sees me (verified by mutual friends), and I light up when I see Darkside, and it typically takes anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half for us to extract ourselves from conversation with each other when we do have to stop, so clearly, Darkside and I should see each other more often. He offered the services of himself, his car, and his free time on Monday evenings after Darkside gets off work. So, should Darkside deign to accept this offer of his (and that's a very big "should"), I would be seeing him at least semi-regularly.

The topic, of course, brought all my fears and uncertainties pouring out in an unstoppable flood of words and tears.

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  • Current Mood
    scared scared
exhausted, tired, Azzsleep

(no subject)

I'm up past my bedtime, way past. I wound up napping from 10-something to 12-something, then I woke up. So I'm going to bed now.