February 8th, 2006

tricircle

Best friends forever.

Five years ago today, I laughed like a Lunatic because my heart was breaking. I had fallen in love with my best friend. So had my soulsister. All I wanted was for them to be happy, except I wanted him as well. And he'd chosen her.

But five years after that day, I'm still alive, and much less broken. He and I are still great friends. She and I are no longer quite so close, but are still friends. The two of them don't communicate with each other. Not anymore. They dated for two months and eight days, and then she quietly and firmly told him it wasn't going to work out.

He collapsed in on himself after that, and forcibly didn't betray his reaction to anyone. I could feel it all the same. His pain hit me like a punch in the stomach every time he saw her unexpectedly. She had to have been able to feel it too, and she avoided him because of it, and because she didn't want to see that look in his eyes. She'd had to leave school over financial and childcare issues before he stopped hurting. Then they never really started talking again.

I miss it being us three, best friends. I'm sure he misses it too. There's no way to get it back. There's no way I'll just walk away from the friendship now. Not after seeing what her walking away from the friendship after saying goodbye to the relationship did to him.
pencil

(no subject)

http://vito-excalibur.livejournal.com/84118.html - Bwahaha. [0] days since our followers did something really dumbass in our names.
http://geneticallydead.livejournal.com/211978.html "Möbius" -- HP, Potter/Snape, twisted, character death, very good. Not safe for work, the text is.
http://theferrett.livejournal.com/676466.html -- Sir Wille of Smithe Rides Agayne! ... do your characters repeat themselves?
http://walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism -- hours and hours of fun!
http://www.katfeete.net/writing/marysue.html -- The Mary Sue quiz! Take it for your original characters! Prepare for wincing! (rosalynde has it bad. Alia is much better. Must go file serial numbers now.)


Easter egg: http://stat.livejournal.com/img/frank-eating-papers.gif now shows up when an entry is deleted.

Pirate weekend at the renfair is the 4th and 5th of March. Hmm.


Cleaning dead songs out of iTunes. I think I got around 5 hours of sleep before my body went all "Hi, it's morning" at me. I was plotting to stay up all day as of about 2 in the morning, but 7 thinks that's a really bad idea. I'm back to 1997 in my read-through by days; I'm doing January and February, since I have some catching up to do from the beginning of the year. My body does like the 4 hours sleep 8 hours wake day-model, which is not such a great plan with the work world. Have now finished reading January and February for all the years of this journal. Not in the sort of detail I'd wanted to, like under the cut tags and in the comments, but eh.
  • Current Music
    Billie Holiday - Glad to Be Unhappy
running, bomb tech

Media-wha?

LJ icon pet peeve.

There are all these gorgeous icons of someone, clearly some character from some show, in all sorts of poses and attitudes, capturing a full range of moods. Delightful. Or something that's probably very expressive if you know the show or the character.

And you're curious, and you go to the user's pics page to check out the comments on the icons, because you want to know what the backstory is.

And nothing in the icons even says what the character's name is. Not the character's name, not the actor's, not the episode, not the show, nothing.

I don't watch TV, though I do get some exposure at work. I haven't watched half the crucial movies. I don't even see the trailers for the current hot shows, because the TV in the work break room is tuned to CNN Headline News. I don't know the faces of these characters. I hear about them. I read about them. But unless I see the face and the name together, I don't know what that icon is supposed to mean other than the face value.