April 14th, 2006

caffeine, beautiful addiction

Not Everybody All at Once

Shared "The Terrible Mister Grimshaw" with the remainder of the workplace. Stressy College Chick and Rev. Not-So-Nice Super were amused.

http://www.drudgereport.com/flash6.htm -- Gravel vs. McCain. Hmm. It would be like the opposite of 2000, where I didn't want to vote for either.




Today at work was first a long-anticipated meeting (lunch meeting! With real lunch!) and then chaos. I don't think I managed to do too much damage to $CLIENT's job -- production was up, and it brought average production up some. Yay! On the other hand, some regions got out of balance, and some went over... while others were under. Erk.

You see, it was just us two trainees running the job: Ponytail Dave and me. Between us, we managed to remember pretty much everything. Trendy Chick set up the job, for which I thank her with great glee. I will learn how to run the setting up of the skillz, really. As it was, we managed to fumble and bumble our way through. We managed to get something set up on the paced dialer, and that's really the basics.

I did get stressed-out and beset by conflicting priorities enough that I started to lose language, and the things that I was saying were coming out very robotic. Fortunately I'm familiar enough with my own responses that I was able to articulate (if brokenly and all jumbled up) that there was too much going on and my verbal skills were going bye-bye while I attempted to handle it all.

I would have much preferred having a senior person looking over my shoulder while I was attempting to run it. Very much.

I get to run it solo on Saturday. Maybe Ponytail Dave will be around to keep me on an even keel.

(Conflicting priorities involved:
5pm reports
monitor reports (including some bad ones)
getting booths set up for new job
getting people pulled for new job
Obso1337 Super on the phone telling me that I needed to *do* new job
not being sure which of about five different things on the computer I needed to do first/next
trying to teach Ponytail Dave things that I'm not entirely certain of myself
sending phone goons on break
directing Ponytail Dave in setting up a briefing
keeping my cool and professionalism)

I conclude that while I am decent at handling a whole lot of things at once, I can only do so much during my learning curve, lest I go all robotic and then completely lose it. Some people work well under pressure. I have an amazing amount of grace under fire, but that does not equate to working well under pressure. I discovered in high school that the easiest way to make me drop the ball under any academic circumstances was to make it a high-stakes situation. People toss high-stakes situations at kids who are performing in a mediocre fashion because they know that the kid is capable of performing at a higher level, but somehow they've missed the bit that tells them that the kid actually functions worse, and not better, under pressure, especially if the kid's insecure. I tested well, but performed very poorly on the sorts of projects that required a lot of fiddly different steps and organization and coordination. The only reason I did so well as check-in was that I'd developed a system so that I knew where and when I was at any given moment, and if I was thrown off by anything, the whole day was out of kilter and nothing went right.

... that does sound suspiciously like high-functioning attention problems, now, doesn't it.
  • Current Music
    "Zither" (in my head)
Raven, Eris, kallisti, shiny

Further thought about attention problems

It may well be that I have attention problems, brought about by the idea that I have not too little attention, but too much of it.

I am told that most people try to pay attention to only a few things at once. I attempt to pay attention to everything at once. When there is only a little of everything, I am just fine. When there is too much of everything, I have difficulty narrowing my focus to exclude the unimportant factors.

Rather, I have a difficulty deciding which the unimportant factors are, because it's so relatively rare that I have to narrow down.

On the other hand, when I tune my capacity to focus on one thing and one thing alone, I am like laser in the intensity.


Have long used the "I am like laser; do not date me alone" argument in favor of my polyamory. If I have multiple people to date, I am not half so dangerous when focused.


Is there a word, in any language, that means "that pain that comes as a result of someone mistaking you and your unrequited beloved for an actual couple, and/or treating you as such"? I hurt like that a lot around Shawn, back in the day. It was touchy to try and correct people who were mistaking us for like-really-Together when all I wanted was for us to actually be together. It still occasionally feels like an open wound when people assume that Darkside and I are Really Together.
running, bomb tech

Yay community administration.

mormon_slut has been banned from brightandbroke because she has been spamming up communities. To wit:

This is actually somewhat on topic here, being as it's the whole broke/money thing, but you're spamming unrelated communities (I took a look at your friendspage, missy, and classy_preps_ was not an appropriate forum for spamming up) so you're deleted as spam and banned.

I don't think she was actually a community member, so she was either a nonmember posting and we need to tighten security, or she joined and unjoined and LJ needs to fry her for spamming.
  • Current Music
    alarm clock