January 12th, 2007

running, bomb tech


Went to dentist. Got the root canal all rooted. I was trembling and jumpy. Things got better. It was not so bad. He offered that he could do the filling then if I had the time -- he had some other patients but depending on what happened with them, he might have time to fill me properly (laying the foundation for the crown). There had been two small kids in the waiting room when I came in. Evidently at least one of them was not being cooperative. I don't know how much dental work she needed. Tay-Tay and I never needed more than cleaning when we were tiny, up through teenagerhood.

It feels weird to have a huge hole in the back of your tooth. The temporary filling is so, so gone! I am happy.

Before they started the filling part, I let them know that my gums were starting to wake up. That happens -- the gums start to wake up before the whole thing's through, making the ending bits very uncomfortable if there's any monkey business going on in the general area. So I got another couple shots of numb-juice in my poor gums. My gums are not going to be happy with me until this is finished.

The filling's in, and I have a smile again now! I'm so very vain about that. I don't have ugly temporary filling in my front teeth. I wasn't talking about it too much before, but oh, it was bothering me, and now I have other things to worry about!

I can't chew on the tooth, not really, not for the reason of lack of strength, but because it doesn't meet up. Crown goes on in two weeks. I have a smile again. It's a little crooked, but it's my smile.

The lower part of my sinuses felt all numb. That was really weird. I don't think I like that. I liked the dull ache when the anaesthetic wore off even less than that; I was happy when it graduated into a painless throbbing. Eventually that went away too. Now my gums are just a bit tender, as you'd expect from them having needles stuck into them and other things rammed around in their vicinity.
phone, cordless phone

Cumulative interviews and other sources of gut-wrenching worry

It's spiritually good for me to not be sure how something is going to work out, right? It's a good thing when I care enough to feel the fear that clenches my belly and shortens my breath?


Trying to keep my mind on task at work, but when I'm afraid I go all scattered in self-defense. Either that or I want to hyperfocus, except that I want to hyperfocus on the thing that's making me freak out, which is not conducive to getting my work done.

I pulled up this window to laugh at MS's spell-checker and auto-fixer. In the office, we use a shorthand jargon. 'Cumulative' gets shortened to 'cumm' all around. (I add the extra 'm' to make sure the vowel is long, as it's pronounced, and to distinguish the spelling from other words.) 'Interviews' gets shortened to 'ints'.

So, when I wrote "cumm ints" in an e-mail this morning, MS did a quick letter-shuffle, and hopefully underlined it in blue, was that what I meant?

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phone, cordless phone

Sanity go bye-bye.

I am sure that the Lackey books about the bardling with a flute are *not* Jethro Tull RPS. *snerk*

I'm drinking coffee again today. trystan_laryssa called to ask if I'd be able to hang out tonight. Hmm.

I probably need an intermediate-to-advanced Excel class too, because I do things with that.

Traveling Management just learned that I was at least familiar with the whole concept of a database, and wants to meet with me sometime when I'm free to get her thoughts organized on the idea of a database that will help her organize stuff on keywords. I can see that getting a reputation as someone who at least has introductory-level IT skills is going to make me popular.

OMFG HEADACHE. And it's a conceptual headache, which makes it worse. I feel like telling them that I'm going to go on my lunch break, walking over to the grocery store, and coming back with Mountain Dew, pretzels, mustard, carrots, and a nice sandwich. This is not going to be a trivial problem. It's going to be a trivial problem once I get it all set down and isolated into its component things, but it's not a trivial problem to isolate it. Forest, trees, lunatic, mimes, and a runaway blender.
phone, cordless phone

Stick a fork in me.

I'm planning on nuking my lunch in the phone goon break room when it clears out, and then having nuclear chicken at my desk. I don't want to get away to have lunch; I want to save my getting-away-time for things that are worthwhile.

I don't know how much longer this thing is going to take. I'm glad that I'm getting assigned projects. I'm not glad that it breaks my brain. I am glad that it makes my brain stronger. I am glad that I have 'net access, because being truly isolated back here would have me going stir-crazy. I'm getting the comments, even though I'm not actually responding right now because I do not particularly need any of my locked entries ever viewable on this network. (When I do respond from work, I never log in. This leads to me replying without logging in fifty billion times if I am replying.)

I also have internet radio. The internets went down at work yesterday; they came back up after I left. There was something that wasn't routing right.

One of the steps to doing this properly involves data entry, rather than complicated and painful figuring. Well, the figuring could be done, but this way it's damn near foolproof. Fool-resistant? Fool-retardant? Like fire-retardant pyjamas?
phone, cordless phone


This is the last serving of the atomic chicken. That was not a good idea. But it was still edible, so I ate it all gone. (Well, I'm still working on this last serving here, but you get the idea.) I'm with Miller, asking "What is this material?" (In other news, I want to go home.)

Just going through the old paperwork and looking for the actual production is biting like a thing that bites a lot. The doing things after that will not quite bite so much. This part bites. At least I have my lunch and I am poking at it. I have my music. It's sort of bad when atomic chicken is a nice break from stuff.

All the old production is entered. My brain is happier now. Switching from analysis-mode into deadly dull data-entry is a bit of a crash, especially when done on low fuel.

OMG, I want out of here because it is Weekend, but I need to stay until this is Finished. Management mercifully cut it down into a smaller segment.

You know that toddler toy that looks like a gerbil ball with holes in shapes on the sides of it? You stuff blocks in through the holes so you can learn your shapes in a purely kinesthetic way. Getting stuff out of a database in the exact way you want it sometimes feels like shaking one of those until the shape you want falls out the hole it came in.
  • Current Music
    "Sometimes in the Fall", Phoenix, on Pandora
phone, cordless phone

Rainbow Warrior

I do not like you, Mr. Silver Sunglasses. You are one of those mainstream-attractive-trendy boys who goes around with a look of perpetual disdain and mild hostility on his face. Once upon a time, I heard that boys were supposed to go around looking slightly pissed-off at all times to make them look more attractive. It's a nasty habit and you should stop it, because it's not actually attractive on anyone but fictional characters.

So, Mr. Silver Sunglasses, when I walk up to someone in your area and hand him a folded 3x5 notecard, saying "I want one!" in the sort of tone of voice that says you're acting like a whiny five-year-old because you think it's cute, it's actually not cute. If you think whining like a spoiled toddler is cute, you can go and fuck off over in a direction that is away from me.

In addition to all that... what do you think was on that card, exactly?

There was a little smiley-face. There was a shiny rainbow. There was a message written in black ink, to the effect of: "If you have any workplace concerns or issues that you'd prefer to discuss with someone in the community, I am available. I'm generally in the training room from 9am - 5pm, Monday - Friday.

My name was underlined first in pink high-lighter, and then again in blue high-lighter, with a slight overlap of the two transparent colors.

If you are part of the community that I mention, Mr. Silver Sunglasses, I suppose I could probably listen to any of the concerns or issues you have. But I honestly doubt you would know how to interpret that color code.