April 23rd, 2007

bleeding, Ryoko

90s Music Monday: 1996: "Until it Sleeps", Metallica; musings.



For me, 90s music is going to be about 1996 and the far-reaching implications of that year until all the horror has been smoothed away by the passage of time and the re-visiting of those memories so many times that it fails to shock, and then fails to sadden, and then merely just is.

My then-best-friend, my high school best friend That Idiot Shawn, the guy I was in love with at the time, was getting the annoying end of the custody shuffle. He was also in possession of too much imagination, too much sensational TV, and self-medicated ADHD, using under-the-counter substances. Top that off with him being an irredeemable drama queen, and you may have an idea of how much chaos he was capable of causing, unaided. Enter me, the sheltered, naive girl who grew up without television and under the impression that everything a close friend or family member told you was the truth to the best of their knowledge. I believed in weird coincidences and the supernatural, because of weird stuff that went on in my own life. He believed that weird coincidence and the supernatural made for really good drama. He told me his rich fantasy life, complete with all the things he'd ever wanted to be and the way things would have played out if he'd been in a movie. He didn't bother to tell me where reality began and his dreams ended, partly because he thought I'd just know, and partly because -- well, he enjoyed the power he held over me.

This was on the radio then. I remember it being a year of bitter and symbolic songs with that thread of despairing hope and deep-rooted anger, because listening to the radio was like looking in a mirror. His world was crumbling around him, and he was taking mine with it.
  • Current Music
    "Until it Sleeps", Metallica
phone, cordless phone

Monday.

11:27 AM 4/23/2007
Any day when I'm so scrambled as I'm heading out the door that I forget my purse is
not such a coherent day.


12:31 PM 4/23/2007
On my "Classic Years" playlist (I don't have one yet, but I need one) there will be
"1979", "1985", and "Stuck in the 90s". I get "1985" and "Stuck in the 90s" mashed
up in my head, which is a scary combination.


1:53 PM 4/23/2007
Data entry is not my friend. Happy headphones are my friend. Yay.


2:03 PM 4/23/2007
I'm at work where I shouldn't (and won't) log in to LJ, but I can assure everyone
who is curious, that the chicken breed Buff Orpington are verily Kirk-shirt gold,
and are very pretty in the sunlight, especially the roosters with their glossy
feathers. I imagine the hens might be a little less glossy, but the photo that I
think we both were thinking of there featured a hen in poor lighting in a dust bath,
and those are not ideal conditions for her showing off her plumage, as she'd have
had dirt on her, and be showing off the puffy lighter bottoms of her feathers
because she was so ruffled-up.

And a whole flock of red hens would be boring, but a single red hen for color might
be interesting. Rhode Island Reds have some black in their tailfeathers, can be very
friendly, and are reliable layers and solid members of the flock. In the absence of
roosters, one wants a solid hen with leadership skills to keep the flock together.
Reds are very good at leadership.


2:38 PM 4/23/2007
The phrase "OTP" is used at work. In this case, it's "Other $TYPE Products", but it
trips my fandom-sensor when I see it. I wonder if someone did that on purpose.


2:46 PM 4/23/2007
My general attitude of good cheer has been restored.


2:58 PM 4/23/2007
boojum reviews
Windows Vista
: "Vista was delayed because it just plain takes time to combine
that much ugliness with that much unhelpfulness."


3:31 PM 4/23/2007
I'm cheerful enough, just tired. Data entry for the lose. I've already had my lunch,
so I can't procrastinate with that.
phone, cordless phone

Bad and good

3:58 PM 4/23/2007
That quasi-new very blonde interviewer (her hair's honey-blonde, her brain is ...
very stereotypically blonde) has the accent that drives me up the wall. Nasal
accents with no trace of sense do that to me.


4:14 PM 4/23/2007
I had no idea that high-speed mandolin had such a remarkable effect on my mood.
That's a good thing. I shall have to remember that for things to perk me up when I'm
feeling zoned-out.


4:43 PM 4/23/2007
HP Widdershins: Part 9:
In which Hermione goes to ground.