August 6th, 2007

wank me a river, Enki

OK, it's petty of me. But.

As item #4 or so of a list of reasons why we can't fill out the $MORNINGSTAR_REPORT daily:

The need for replacement of the $MORNINGSTAR_REPORT itself. The $MORNINGSTAR_REPORT spreadsheet itself is an incredible piece of work, (Note here the ambiguous but expressive phrase) but it betrays the hallmarks of a simple spreadsheet that has flown wildly out of scope to encompass features that it was not originally designed to handle. The $MORNINGSTAR_REPORT is a spreadsheet trying to do the job of a database, and it unfortunately does look, feel, and run like one. The rule of thumb that I was taught is that once a spreadsheet starts tracking any more than three different things, it is time to think about using a database instead. Once more than three spreadsheets are linked together, it is time to start thinking about a database. I highly recommend that the series of sheets be passed along to an actual database designer, who could create a database to take similar inputs and produce similar outputs, but without having to deal with a huge series of very fragile spreadsheets. This is the most important reason. As it stands now, the $MORNINGSTAR_REPORT is nightmarish to deal with, and I go out of my way to deal with it as little as humanly possible. Dealing with it in any capacity on a daily basis would be intolerable.

Said report was intractable today. I couldn't make it behave. In my e-mail to the manager in question, telling him so, I asked, "What is the timeframe on replacing the $MORNINGSTAR_REPORT with a database?" Not "Will we", but "WHEN will we." I'm about to the point where I'm considering quitting this job over that bleeding spreadsheet. Kludge. Whatever.

His auto-reply? This is the thing that makes me feel like I'm being petty.

Thank you for your email. I am on vacation this week [dates]. I will return your correspondents on Monday [date].

Thanks and have a good day...

Correspondents. *snerk*