All aboard the Failroad! http://community.livejournal.com/techsupport/1512137.html
, and http://community.livejournal.com/techsupport/1514551.html
Some fun words that look dirty but aren't:
Tonight's potato concoction:
Wash and slice several large potatoes, not particularly neatly. Add splash of oil over them in nonstick frying pan that has passed the better days of its nonstickiness, but still has some virtue left in it. Set them to cooking on 4 or 5 of the 1-10 electric stove. (This one does not go to eleven.) Dust some onion powder over them, shake Canadian Steak Seasoning over it too (that's what it says on the bottle; it has things like salt, dried onion, and black pepper in), and leave it be for a while, stirring as needed. Meanwhile, dice those refrigerated fully cooked turkey sausage patties, the ones that weren't spicy enough. Toss those in, with another splash of oil if needed, and another shake or two of the steak seasoning mix. Allow to cook. This takes at least twenty minutes. You can bring a book to the kitchen and have a seat on the kitchen stool. Stir occasionally.
Meanwhile, botch your first attempt at cheese sauce by not making a roux first, and not grating the cheese, and definitely putting the boullion cube, the milk, the butter, and the cheese all in the pot at the same time, because it will take forever to cook that way. Also, include a scrap of the butter paper. Stir until the cheese has mostly melted. Dump over potatoes at your roommate's advice. Grate cheese over the lot, stir, and serve.
Tasty, filling, and has as much grease as that thing you got from a 'berto's.