January 30th, 2010

monkey king, monkey smash

The Punch-in-the-Face List

I maintain a "punch-in-the-face list", which is a violent name very much at odds with my upbringing as a Friend. Perhaps "maintain" is not quite the right word, as that implies that I keep an actual physical list collated somewhere, and updated regularly, and that I would genuinely follow through if given the opportunity.

The list is actually mostly notional, as while I may consign people and organizations to its membership, I rarely bother to track who or what is on it. If I've a grudge, I'll know whether they're on the list whether I write it down or not. If I haven't formed a grudge, then obviously it wasn't bad enough to merit permanent membership.

I've also never actually instigated a physical fight, aside from the occasional scuffle with my sister before adolescence hit her (when it had hit me but not her, she'd antagonize me and then get upset that I was "threatening her"; in actuality, I was doing everything I could to hold my temper and warn her that if she kept it up, I would snap and she was likely to get hurt; she didn't appreciate that very much; after it hit her, she came to realize the temper we'd both got and stopped it), and the one time that this creep on the schoolbus was illicitly moving between seats and sat down on the seat that my sister and I shared, whereupon I shoved him on the floor and he punched me. (He's one of the former schoolmates who I won't even contemplate adding on Facebook. I think I have him blocked already.)

If given the opportunity, would I punch someone on this list in the face? I like to think that I would not. My temper likes to think that I would. However, if someone's earned membership on this list, I would only regret the violation of my principles and any consequences that befell me -- not any harm I caused to their person. Does this make me a bad person? Entirely possibly.

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slashgirl

Slash fic conflicts over the decades:

'70s: We are two heterosexual men who love each other in deep and ineffable ways and need some way to express this. Shall we shag?
'80s: We are two men who love each other in deep and ineffable ways and need some way to express this. Are we gay?
'90s: We are two gay or bisexual men who love each other in deep and ineffable ways and are pretty sure how to express this in private. Shall we come out?
'00s: We are two gay or bisexual men who love each other in deep and ineffable ways and are pretty sure how to express this. Are people going to accept our True Love, or will they bully us if we come out?


Unspoken but hopefully understood: the legal, social, mortal dangers of getting caught in the 70s and 80s, still the danger of coming out to the wrong person in the 90s (my own mother told me it wouldn't be a good idea if the wrong person heard I wasn't straight in the 90s), the certainty that there will be at least one jackass giving grief in the '00s despite protective laws. You can sometimes tell what decade someone grew up by how much of a big deal it is to even consider the feelings, consider one's basic orientation, consider coming out, consider letting a specific relationship be public knowledge.

This gets really surreal when I'm reading fic set in the mid-70s and the primary conflict is "but will people pick on us if we show our True Love" -- YES, it's the fucking *70s*, you could be BEATEN LEFT FOR DEAD RAPED AND MURDERED for being gay, and you're worried about HIGH SCHOOL HAZING?!


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10 tweets for 2010-1-30

In the last 24 hours, I posted the following to Twitter:


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