February 21st, 2010

huggy rock, fluorite

(there's somewhere I've got to go)

2:50 PM 2/20/2010
There are some days when the only logical course of action is to blast Automatic for the People.

2:59 PM 2/20/2010
This CD is tape for me.

2:59 PM 2/20/2010
Starting essay on "tape", and other useful words to know around Miss Lunatic.

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11:49 PM 2/20/2010
You know how kids come up with weird urban legends about sex? I was convinced that Kinsey-0 straight people were one of them, until a perfectly-straight character popped into my head once. It is *weird*, man. Though she likes men more than I ever will.

11:52 PM 2/20/2010
http://synecdochic.dreamwidth.org/383923.html - idiot-socks. :D :D :D

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1:25 AM 2/21/2010
Happily showered, feeling the intrinsic, incredible emotion. (Examining my own gender identity in the shower, concluding that I'm actually very weird on some of these things; there are a few components of presentation as a woman that I'm very attached to, and my parents preserved me from as many of the toxic memes attached to woman/female in the US as they possibly could so I'm actually not burdened too badly by them; if I'd been raised to think of quitting being female the only way to get out of Being A Woman, I think things might have gone differently for me.)

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2:33 PM 2/21/2010

2:39 PM 2/21/2010
Somebody couldn't talk right now. Talking later is good too.

3:40 PM 2/21/2010
My man'chi is feeling frayed. Not sure if/when it'll get patched. Depressing. (Actually, really depressing. Looks like this is one of the things that's been weighing on my mind, and now that I've identified it, it's a pain that's not going away.)

6:51 PM 2/21/2010
Power is back on.

9:18 PM 2/21/2010
Tried crawling into bed with headset while on the phone with MissKat, but stuff happened and I had to crawl back out. Feeling fragile.

(First best friend was getting groceries, then he was in the middle of supper. I have impeccable timing, don'tcha know. Tomorrow, then. I hope.)

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man'chi, Foreigner

Tape, and select other words-from-books that it's useful to know when understanding Miss Lunatic

Tape: Anyone who has read C.J. Cherryh's Cyteen and understands the term as defined there is excused from this part of the lecture.

Anyone who is planning to read it fairly soon is likewise excused on account of spoilers, though spoilers for infodump sections of a fifteen-year-old book is a bit of a silly proposition.

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I read this book young. I'm glad that I read it when I did, because I wouldn't be the same person I am today had I not.

There are, in my life, certain formative books that resonate strongly with my deepest values, in part because they helped build those values. (A person who was raised Christian might have this reaction to the Bible and other common Christian sourcebooks. Our parents did not press religion on us, and there don't seem to be many sources of organized religion that don't also make me feel like fleeing. So that's out.) The first two books on my list are Cyteen and Spock's World. This is how your mind works. This is what is important. Never lose sight of these things.

If I'm lost, or floundering, back I go to my tape, seeking understanding and reinforcement of my core values. This is me. This is mine.

bad tape: Personality-programming, inflicted from an external source, that is actually very not good. Roughly similar to "toxic memes". (Same source as the above.)

eetee, eetee logic, eetees in [the] mental basement: Insane. Also same source as the above. As opposed to bad tape, this is home-grown madness, built from inputs that may have been perfectly rational when they came in, but allowed to simmer unchecked by any earth logic. Compare "insane troll logic".

man'chi: Again from C.J. Cherryh's books, but from the Foreigner series, on the other side of old Earth. (This is pretty vague as far as plotwise-spoilers go; this stuff is mostly from the scenario-setting and worldbuilding.)

Colonists went out from Earth and got lost. A good portion of them ended up on a planet already populated by its rightful residents, the very alien but somewhat too-close-for-comfort atevi. Human concepts like "love", "trust", "friendship", "filial piety" -- all unknown to atevi -- and in turn, the biologically-driven atevi familial, emotional and ethical bond of man'chi is similarly foreign to humans.

It's like love. It's like loyalty. It's like the bonds of trust and command that one sees in the better Stargate fics. Man'chi flows up through the social hierarchy to the aiji, the leader, who feels no compulsion of higher loyalty, but collects followers and treats their man'chi with respect and protection.

It's a handy word to describe, quickly, to my fellow fen, certain relationships and scenarios that otherwise defy proper description.

Senior: From Diane Duane's Young Wizards series. Wizards in this series are somewhat informally ranked. Someone who is a Senior, or acting as a Senior, is in at least a vague supervisory/advisory capacity over their more junior wizards.

Adopting things wholesale from fantasy doesn't always work well in pagan circles, particularly when applied large-scale, but this one works all right as a shorthand to describe the relationship between two people, one of whom is somewhat more experienced than the other, who is sometimes giving out advice based on that experience, but is not actually a full-time supervisor-in-faith the way that might be implied with titles such as High Priestess or what-have-you.

c'thia: From Spock's World, a Vulcan word, meaning "reality-truth": that which is, without any spin or pussyfooting or lies.

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