I do recall that, upon my comment, "That's a big-ass candle!" there was debate.
When I say, "big-ass candle", this means that the ass of the candle is to be interpreted as big, rather than said candle being an overly-large candle intended for the ass.
(Commentary: is ass-candling anything like ear candling?)
I was growing less and less coherent the further the conversation progressed, and, unhappily, the conversation ended with a long silence that makes me suspect Evil Cellphone Demons at play.