One night, he called me up, past my bedtime, with an urgent question: "Joan! Do you have to grease the pan to boil water?"
"But won't it stick to the sides?"
"But I don't want it to burn..."
At length, I got him convinced that one could generally not burn water. I went to bed, and thought that was the end of it. But that was not to be.
The next day at school, I heard that he'd had a macaroni-and-cheese disaster. The macaroni had stuck to the pan (of course), and also burned (of course). I asked if he'd bothered to stir it.
"You mean you need to stir it?"
He'd also put the entire packet of the cheesy stuff in there. Not the entire contents of the packet... the packet, unopened, paper and plastic and metal and all. "I thought it was something where it would dissolve!"
About a year later, I learned from our mutual English teacher that he hadn't even drained the macaroni...