Gemini Horoscope for week of October 2, 2003I'm actually less interested in raw sex right now than I have been in a while, except my libido disagrees with me. It's interested; I'm finding it fairly irrelevant at the moment.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
I should caution you that this horoscope may be banned in certain parts of Louisiana, South Dakota, and Arkansas, as well as a number of other areas around the world in which silky uproarious techniques of sacred yumyum are considered dangerous to the status quo. The fact is, Gemini, you have the potential to be a genius of love in the coming weeks. You are poised to discover higher forms of pleasure that would make plain old ordinary hedonism irrelevant. A previously unimaginable level of erotic mastery is within your reach. Now memorize this coded message: freesurgingfearlesswideawakerapturewrestler.
Cancer Horoscope for week of October 2, 2003
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
HELP WANTED: Practical dreamers with high emotional intelligence needed to become experts in the following subjects: the art of possessing abundant resources without feeling greed or a sense of superiority; the science of cultivating luxurious comfort in a way that does not lead to spiritual sloth; and a knack for enjoying peace and serenity without diluting one's ambition. Applicants should be members of the Cancerian tribe. Send evidence of your skills to Poised Plenitude, c/o email@example.com.