Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

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Parenting diplomacy, applied with large trowel

Other co-parent (male) described how Little Fayoumis read with him.

Evidently it typically takes an hour, and he stresses over words and wanders through the book and generally makes a big hairy deal over it.

My response: "If I didn't know better, I'd think we were talking about two different kids."

In my world, Little Fayoumis is bright and happy and doesn't make a fuss about bedtime and is getting damn fast at reading, and is generally a pretty well-adjusted kid except for some stress over homework and schoolwork.

I pointed out that often, from my perspective, it sounded as if LF were answering questions not with the actual answer that he felt, but with the answer that would please him.

Evidently he's "talked to him about that".

I shudder to think of that conversation.

Thought, but not said: "Until you stop the fuck asking questions where there is only one acceptable answer, and that is the one you want, he is going to keep doing it because you make him feel like shit when he gives the wrong answer, you bloody fuckwad!"

Yes, I do my share of telling LF what to do too, but ... I try to explain the rules of society, not emotionally whack him around until he figures out by guess and fail what they are!

School's a big, big stress. He's been saying stuff like "I'm worthless" over getting stuff wrong on things, and I don't know what to do about it. I've been trying to reinforce that no he is not, everyone makes mistakes, and it's OK, and to keep working... some of it's taking, some of it's not.


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