And I've got a small, round, grey cat (variegated) that likes to curl up on my bed and sleep.
And I didn't look where I was sitting when I took off my pants, then sat down to try and figure out what had been in the pockets.
So I sat on my cat.
Naturally, the creature sinks fangs and claws into me. Street-cat reaction, there. Very good, very self-defense oriented. Never mind yowling protest, just hurt as badly as you can as quickly as you can, when they scream and leap off you, you run and climb on top of the monitor, then you slink off to a viewpoint to watch in concern as your person makes "I am wounded" noises, and once you're assured that the damage is primarily temporary, and your person gets up to go wash off, you slink out of the room.
My butt hurts.
Why does my butt hurt?
I sat on the cat.
Technically, it's my side, mid hip-bone, but OW, it counts as my butt. Because that sounds more funny.