The Tale of the Computer is a nasty one, fraught with things like The Hair Debacle, piracy (not his), and a cameo appearance of the FBI's Computer Crimes Division. We finally have a version of XP on it that won't send him to Hell, but sadly, his CD burner stopped working.
I finally dug up the external USB burner I got back in 2001 or so, and he's trying to install that now. The USB ports on the side of the box are, surprise surprise, not entirely functional.
We'll see what happens. I don't know XP as well as I should, simply because I haven't worked with it enough. Joy to the fucking world, and pass me some mighty fine wine, because I may really need it.