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Three Years

Three years ago today, I was smiling, and my smile didn't leave my face for the next three days. Three years ago, I was laughing and listening to the rain. Three years ago today, I was happy almost to the point of tears. Three years ago, my paranoia was taken up and replaced with perfect love and perfect trust. I learned compersion, patience, empathy, adoration. I dropped my star on the couch, and found it in my pocket. I was mastered by the entertainment system. I was left alone with my journal, a pen, the phone and a number with no answer, a complex entertainment system and a movie I couldn't make play, and my heightened, bonded senses listening in the rain. I was left on the outside of an unlocked door. I was left alone, but not excluded.

Three years ago today, I was loved and cherished, healed and held, on the fringes of a deep and complex bond. I didn't understand it, didn't care to try, couldn't imagine how I was worthy of such joy, and delighted in it anyway.
Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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