Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

Three Years

Three years ago today, I was smiling, and my smile didn't leave my face for the next three days. Three years ago, I was laughing and listening to the rain. Three years ago today, I was happy almost to the point of tears. Three years ago, my paranoia was taken up and replaced with perfect love and perfect trust. I learned compersion, patience, empathy, adoration. I dropped my star on the couch, and found it in my pocket. I was mastered by the entertainment system. I was left alone with my journal, a pen, the phone and a number with no answer, a complex entertainment system and a movie I couldn't make play, and my heightened, bonded senses listening in the rain. I was left on the outside of an unlocked door. I was left alone, but not excluded.

Three years ago today, I was loved and cherished, healed and held, on the fringes of a deep and complex bond. I didn't understand it, didn't care to try, couldn't imagine how I was worthy of such joy, and delighted in it anyway.

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