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Stay-at-home moms...

*sigh* Why is it that all the people I've heard of who want to marry a woman and have her be a stay-at-home mom have to be

a) Far older than me
b) Few common interests
c) The wrong religion (as in, would want me to be the same religion as them, and are not currently a match for mine)
d) No little creepy

I've done the full-time work thing, I've done the full-time school thing, and I've done the full-time homemaker thing. (Actually, I've done all of them at once, but...) I do think I prefer the full-time homemaker thing. I'm no great shakes as a housekeeper unless I have the time to be properly obsessed (and the storage space to make it practical, because I can organize like a motherfucker, but I can't do jack unless there's somewhere to put everything...) and I'm not really that much of a cook unless I'm also motivated, but I do prefer working at housecleaning and shepherding kids through homework to working at a Real Live Job (unless I could, say, take over a position like shadesong's, because I would absolutely rule at that -- one thing I'm better at than organizing My Own Stuff is organizing Someone Else's Stuff). I'm brilliant, I'm an efficient secretary, and I really do prefer hanging out with geeks and being support staff for geeks to being a full-time geek myself, because that shit is high-pressure, and that's where I fall apart.

I've come full circle and I suppose I don't mind the thought of kids anymore, but I know damn well I don't want to have kids and work at the same time, and I might prefer to just have one or two (or even adopt a four-year-old or have stepchildren, as the biology involved is perhaps Not For Me). I am still iffy on the thought of bearing children myself, since I grew up on Bujold and uterine replicators, and because I have not yet met anyone where there was mutual love, respect, and desire for reproduction. I would make an excellent cuckoo-mom, because I feel it's my memes more than my genes that I wish to pass on. I can't pass on my memes very well if I'm stuck in a nine-to-five job and am leaving my babies in the hands of those whose memes are alien and potentially dangerous.

Mama was a stay-at-home mom for us. After we got big enough to fend for ourselves, she would go and work on projects in her pottery shop, and we'd call her if there were problems. We went to public school. Since there were two of us, we played together, and she did other things while we were occupied. When I was three or four, she got her car, and she was forever shuttling us around, but other than our school schedules, she didn't have to conform to much in the way of a work schedule. (She did have to get very busy making pots for the sales she committed herself to, but it wasn't a nine-to-five sort of thing.) I envy that sort of freedom.

Where do I sign up to become a stay-at-home mom?
Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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