- Unplug them.
- Give them a broken cable. Rewire the switch so their port looks like it's working.
- Reconfigure the firewall. Block port 135.
- Reconfigure the firewall. Tell it that when it's the five websites that the person uses the most, to send them on to /dev/null, but otherwise let things be.
- Reconfigure the firewall. Divert all incoming packets for their computer to /dev/null.
- Reconfigure the firewall. Intermittently lose all their packets.
- Lose their password for them.
- Give them an IP address out of range of what the router will accept.
- Change the gateway information and don't tell them.
- Give them an IP address conflict with another device on the network that they're trying to use.
- Divide the bandwidth fairly -- 90% for you, 10% for them. Even if they're the one who's downloading stuff all day and you only surf a little.
- Script them popup messages. Obscene popup messages.
- Give them the number of the least competent person you know for tech support to "help" them with their issues.
- Replace their Network Interface Card with an old Pokémon card.
- Give them a bad attack of nannyware.
- Convince your network security software that they are an intruder. Make sure your network security software has heavily armed monkeys.
Several Mean Things to do to someone on your LAN:
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