Guide Dog Aunt is not good at writing reassuring notes. I wasn't very good either. What we did came out something like this:
Since you're reading this, you're obviously alive and you have your earthquake kit, so things aren't as bad as they could be. I'm not very good at writing reassuring notes, but if things are so that you need your earthquake kit, you are probably in need of cheering up. So. Here are some jokes.
So then we hit Google, and found some joke sites. We picked and chose -- only the finest went in. It wound up being about three pages long.