Characters: Draco Malfoy, of Hogwarts. Maul the Sith Apprentice, of Star Wars.
Situation: Sidious is entering alliance or at least mutual-help-when-convenient discussions with Voldemort. While the bosses are busy, Draco Malfoy has been told off to entertain the Sith Apprentice.
Ownership: Lucas owns Maul. Rowling owns Draco. Both of them would be appalled.
Author: azurelunatic, with mad props to othercat and Dawn for being there (at different times) to release the bunnies.
Maul looked keenly about the Great Hall with his bright red eyes. "That one," he said, indicating a young woman at a further table, her bushy head bent close with a dark one and a ginger one. "I will take that one."
"Take her for what?" Malfoy inquired, following his gaze.
"Take her." Maul thrust his hips in unmistakable suggestion.
Malfoy screwed up his face. "But -- she's a Mudblood!" he protested.
"Mudblood? Explain that word."
"It means her parents were Muggles. You know, non-magic folk." Draco affected a little shudder. "I suppose they're fine for sport, but, a guest of your stature touching such filth -- you would want a Pureblood." He gazed over the tables himself. "You could have -- any Slytherin, and half the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Their fathers would shit themselves sideways for a chance at such an alliance."
"So, a Pureblood is superior," Maul mused, his voice coming out a low rumble.
"Very much superior," Draco said smugly.
Those flaming eyes passed over Draco, up and down. "Are you a Pureblood?" Maul asked.
"Among the purest," Draco said, and flicked his wand to produce a glowing transparent family tree in the air in front of him. "My father is the Malfoy, of course, and Mother was a Black, and the Blacks are ... "
"Indeed," Maul said, and grabbed Draco by the shoulders and bent him over the table.
Draco squeaked as Maul flipped up his robes. The entire Great Hall saw that young Malfoy was indeed following that finest of wizarding traditions and wore nothing beneath his robes. "What do you-- but I'm--" he sputtered, pulling his face out of the dish of stewed carrots it had been pushed into.
"Sith," Maul said resonantly, "do not do 'inferior'."
Malfoy squeaked more as the very horny Sith took him, on the table, in full view of Dumbledore and everyone.