Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

Potter/Sith Academy Crossover

Warning: slash.
Draco/Maul, not entirely consensual.
Excessively silly.
More o' the same -- collected in one place

The first Draco Malfoy heard of the visiting Dark Lord and his attache was when his lord father set a Hammering Hex on his bedroom door at half past five in the morning. "Father?" Draco asked fuzzily, looking up after unhexing his door. "Is there a problem?"

"Your services are required by our Dark Lord," Lucius Malfoy said. "Dress, and join me for breakfast."

Draco's pulse hammered double-time as he dressed. What would it be? Surely Voldemort wouldn't send him to kill The Boy Who Hadn't Bloody Died Yet. The Dark Lord would want to handle that personally. Would it be a spot of courier work, relaying intelligence unnoticed under the nose of that bumbling fool Dumbledore? Would it ... ?

Lucius Malfoy lifted his glass to his lips, sipped magically purified bubbly water, then spoke. "Our Dark Lord is entertaining a potential ally," he said. "They will be discussing the terms of a mutually advantageous agreement of aid, or perhaps even alliance."

Draco brightened. This was even better than he'd hoped. "And I will help?" he asked, eyes shining.

Lucius smiled tightly, tapping his crystal glass. "Our Dark Lord's fame is such that he is known, through this universe and several others, and his influence reaches throughout history. His distinguished guest hails from a galaxy far, far away, further back in time than I would care to venture without the Dark Lord's power. His name is Sidious. You will not be dealing with him. He has an attaché, one Maul. Maul expressed the desire to be shown a good time. You will be escorting him. Endeavor to not make any incidents."

Draco set his chin petulantly. "So what you're saying is I'm babysitting. Thank you for thinking of me, Father."

Maul looked keenly about the Great Hall with his bright red eyes. "That one," he said, indicating a young woman at a further table, her bushy head bent close with a dark one and a ginger one. "I will take that one."

"Take her for what?" Malfoy inquired, following his gaze.

"Take her." Maul thrust his hips in unmistakable suggestion.

Malfoy screwed up his face. "But -- she's a Mudblood!" he protested.

"Mudblood? Explain that word."

"It means her parents were Muggles. You know, non-magic folk." Draco affected a little shudder. "I suppose they're fine for sport, but, a guest of your stature touching such filth -- you would want a Pureblood." He gazed over the tables himself. "You could have -- any Slytherin, and half the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Their fathers would shit themselves sideways for a chance at such an alliance."

"So, a Pureblood is superior," Maul mused, his voice coming out a low rumble.

"Very much superior," Draco said smugly.

Those flaming eyes passed over Draco, up and down. "Are you a Pureblood?" Maul asked.

"Among the purest," Draco said, and flicked his wand to produce a glowing transparent family tree in the air in front of him. "My father is the Malfoy, of course, and Mother was a Black, and the Blacks are ... "

"Indeed," Maul said, and grabbed Draco by the shoulders and bent him over the table.

Draco squeaked as Maul flipped up his robes. The entire Great Hall saw that young Malfoy was indeed following that finest of wizarding traditions and wore nothing beneath his robes. "What do you-- but I'm--" he sputtered, pulling his face out of the dish of stewed carrots it had been pushed into.

"Sith," Maul said resonantly, "do not do 'inferior'."

Malfoy squeaked more as the very horny Sith took him, on the table, in full view of Dumbledore and everyone.

It hurt. Sweet Circe, did it hurt.

In the resounding silence, Draco could hear Goyle and Crabbe:
"I'm next."
"No, me."
"Straws? Best two out of three."

The entire Hall was frozen. His Head of House -- where was Snape? Potty and the Weasel were sitting there, stupid mouths open. Up on the platform, Dumbledore was choking on one of his confounded sweets. There was Snape, hammering on Dumbledore's huge stomach in a vain attempt to dislodge the potentially fatal piece of candy.

Potter's eyes glazed over and he licked his lips, then nudged Ron.

"Honestly!" the Mudblood girl snapped out, shoving Potty and Weasel to either side. "Am I the only one in this room who's studied Modern Sex Magick?"

Comments for this post were disabled by the author