Our goth-chic sensibilities have finally found a sweet technical solution to the problem. Instead of wearing *gasp* white -- there's this little sweet electronic device. It's a heart made out of that jelly goop stuff that's such great fun to make kids' toys out of. Inside, it has blinkety electronics, strobing eye-hurting LED pulses. It's on a string, and you can wear it around your neck.
By spinning it in circles, I have determined that none of the LEDs are actually on at the same time. I have also determined that the original loop of jelly was insufficiently strong to hold the entire weight of the heart while it was spinning. (Ooops.) Fortunately, it was easy to find in the dim corner between the cat carrier and the binder because it was blinketing merrily at me.