Gemini Horoscope for week of September 9, 2004*eyebrow* Hmm, I've had my eye on an item that might help with that goal...
If you believe your body is inherently sinful or if you're offended by references to your private parts, stop reading now. Still here? Good. The fact is, dear Gemini, that this is a perfect time to celebrate, explore, and reinvent your relationship with your genitals. It's your sacred duty to strip away every negative association about them that you may have acquired in the past. Do whatever it takes to arrive at the understanding that your sexual organs are among the most sublime gifts the Divine Creator has given you. Have fun with them, worship them, teach them greater discipline, and in general lift them to the exalted state they deserve.
Cancer Horoscope for week of September 9, 2004With any luck, one of those voices will be mine.
This week you may frequently experience a psychological state called "schizofriendia." As defined by one of my readers, Lewis, schizofriendia is a condition in which people hear voices in their heads that are unfailingly supportive, encouraging, and keen to offer constructive advice about how to make the most of everything that happens. It's true, my fellow Cancerian, that in the past the little voices in our heads have only occasionally been reliable sources of information. But they will more than compensate for that during the Golden Age of Self-Healing that's just ahead.