Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

Writing group night: word count, employment, musings on boundaries of the sacred, and social bits.

People were at writing group. (Earlier, mixup with the stickers at the plasma place. Also, Happy Gilmore, which can be considered thematic research for the novel.) People from earlier nanowrimo meetups I wasn't at. AZwriter (who doesn't have an LJ yet) showed late with kids in tow. The kids were energetic, and daycare was full up. I gave out glass hearts (after checking re: choking hazard). They left early: the kids were a little too energetic and loud.

Word count not so good with regard to the 100,000 words thing, but great for 50,000:
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
11,423 / 100,000

Things that are good: Godiva chocolates.
Things that are not so good: melted Godiva chocolates.
Things that are good: freezers.

At Coco's afterwards, we learned that not only had Josh quit a while ago (we'd known that) but Orlando, the flirtatious waiter, had been fired. That made me feel weird. I'd come in a touch late, and had heard most of it secondhand (or possibly third or more, since the server didn't look like a primary source), but evidently "too friendly" was somewhere in the mix.

Where do you draw the line? The Lady's honest truth of it is, even though I knew the flirtation that was directed at me was going nowhere, and even though I was occasionally playing along, I was made profoundly uncomfortable. How do you teach a woman to say, "Actually, even though I like you just fine, that just crossed a line"? I think I would be more willing to express my boundaries in a private situation. In private, the training is very clear. Boundaries raise their alarms, and you listen to that, or you could die. In public, though, in a situation that is made safe by the presence of other women who are not alarmed on your behalf, there is no physical incursion being made...

How do you train a woman to say, "Actually, my heart is given, and it's not a topic to be toyed with, even in jest"? There are some things too sacred to be poked at and then brush it off with an "Oh, I was just playing." Many people put religion in that class, the too-sacred-to-touch file. Just thinking about it, I get the twinge down in my diaphragm that means that there's some unhealed soul-wound that needs cleaning, and probably more mulling over, and a post of its own.

No, I don't think he deserved to be fired. But I can very easily see how something that he intended as fun in no ill will could violate those invisible boundaries that don't always set off audible alarms when touched. I can very easily see someone whose boundaries were pressed close and stepped over raising a racket. I can very easily see how that could lead to a termination.

easalle's friend Zeke showed up at Coco's with his laptop. A good time was had by all. I am relieved that Zeke and I have demonstrated that, despite past unpleasantness, we can interact civilly in a public place. (Not that I was expecting bad things to happen, because Jenn would have made firey doom rain down upon our heads if anything went badly, but I was not expecting to see him.) This, too, probably deserves a meta-post about my long memory and caution in the context of any given unpleasant encounter.

I'm very meta tonight, and I still need to get some sleep. Hooray, sleep.

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