It's surprisingly difficult to choreograph a several-part slapstick brawl. The best viewpoint is, again, from an uninvolved observer. The guy Sally took down is going to be mentally scarred for life, but maybe he'll stop smoking -- at least, stop smoking uninvited indoors in someone else's home. That's really all you can ask for. While Sally's a fanatical enough anti-smoking activist to extend her evangelism to the public smoking materials of those in designated smoking zones (squirt-gun sniping), I consider that overboard at very best (and highly rude). It's fun to write her, though. Chaaaaarge!
I very much like Officer Raoul (yes, a little much PotO on my playlist?) and his parellax view of Ben's last seven years or so. Ben's father's a nut, and deserves Ben's mother. Seriously.
I also like writing minor characters as convincing geeks. The dad in "A Cup of Time" was a DBA; here, Bea's mom is g33x0r. I had to make her geek, actually, so that the "secure" packing that the moving company did was actually Very Bad. easalle, a six-person brawl has erupted from your dreadful Army moving adventure. Hee-hee.
For those of you who are reading this as I work on it, more pieces will go up -- later. I'm not 'here' enough to post bits.
easalle, a six-person brawl has erupted from your dreadful Army moving adventure. Hee-hee. 