Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic
azurelunatic

Now nearly 90% content-free

The same things matter to me as have always mattered, of course: life, happiness, my sanity and the keeping of same, amusing myself.

Just turns out that right now work's taking the front priority because first off, I'm going places in the company, although I'm not entirely horrifically speedy about it (under a year's a decent amount of time to wind up in a position that supervises the comings, goings, and shufflings of employees for the entire datacenter with perhaps 200-300 phone goons, yes?), and since job = money, and money = economic freedom to do nifty things, and !money = !good ...

My shifts as check-in person are anywhere between 9 and 12 hours, as needed by the work at hand. So far we've made it to somewhat distinctly past 11 hours, with an entry time at 1:30 in the afternoon, and an exit time of very nearly 1 in the morning. In these past couple weeks, I've had Tues-Weds-Thurs on, and then another shift Sunday morning (in this case, only an eight hour shift or so). I will be working a 4 day week this week, as scheduled. If I come in as scheduled on Sunday morning, and leave after I've cleared up my shift, I will have worked at least 40 hours in this week. As there's unlimited overtime this week and next (there are some things that need to be finished by the end of the month, and what's needed is a lot of people working; it's a problem that can indeed be solved by throwing person-hours at the problem), I might just take a shift or two extra on the phones and get some time-and-a-half money. (Being on the phones would be a nice change of pace; I can't risk Executive Burnout. *looks in the direction of norabombay, hoping for a soda-spew*)

The journal's suffering from the workiness. There are people at work, and they are interesting, and they have complex lives and people around them, and it's very interesting to sit by and giggle when Trendy Chick Supervisor throws things at Quiet Geek Supervisor, and try to avoid falling over and coffeespewing at some of the other workplace byplay ... and I know that if I value my sanity I'd best keep myself and the things that really truly down-deep matter to me locked up tight while I'm at work. My security functions are not losing sight of the fact that this is work, and while I have some friends in the building, and while my immediate co-workers are open and friendly, this is not a place where the majority of the people there are prepared to like me for me. They like me for the fact that I can do my work and interact pleasantly, and I'm not about to forget that. (There are some exceptions, of course. In addition to the obvious people, Trader Joe's Queen Monitor likes me for myself.) But while I'm at work, I'm not prepared to be all that much me, unless the context of the work says it's appropriate. I don't know these people yet, so I can't get involved. That's how bad things happen, when I get tangled up with someone before I get to know them.

I haven't been able to attend writing group for two weeks. I haven't written anything serious, aside from my little exercise in "if I were writing my life as fiction" a bit ago (speaking of which, there's now a meme about that going around, and I think the Hive Mind Internet is starting to kick in, because I did mine before the meme) for a month or two. I'm not sure if I'm going to be sticking with or edging out of the writing group once I do get my schedule ironed out. I can't hold down a second job right now, even though random bits of creativity are flying madly this way and that out of my head.

My household, of course, is in turmoil. I don't get to spend time with my bondmate this weekend. I haven't seen very many of/very much of the people I consider close friends in a long time -- and I'm very picky about who gets to be considered that. I'm not as extreme an introvert as many of my friends, but in order for me to recharge to even think about doing something that amounts to seeing outsiders for fun, I've got to spend enough time with people who are insiders to charge up. Unless I'm running on full social power, I can't go anywhere in the name of relaxation when I don't know who's going to be there. Leaving me alone for more than a day at a time is a bad idea. Leaving me in the company of Untrustworthy People for more than a day at a time is a worse idea.

So. Stressmonkey, and without the time to do the proper writing I need to do to get the gibberish cleared out of my head.

I ran into Bald Guy from college today, as I was heading to work. I didn't recognize him because he had hair. Scary. He was in company with the chick who's the new Gay/Straight Alliance president-person. *sigh* She's so nice otherwise, though.
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