Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic
azurelunatic

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Itch

It's always a nagging feeling of badness when I'm close to someone, and there's something that I do or feel that is incredibly important to me, and not only do they not understand what I'm after in that thing, but they don't accept it.

It's very stereotypically something of me to need for my inner needs, if known by my friends, to be either accepted or a treaty of Not Messing With This Shit drawn up. If those around me are trying to change me, I have to either agree, root-level, with the change, or make it so those who are trying to change me to my detriment and without my permission are no longer around me.

I'm not one of those people who can brush off sincere attempts to change me, even "for my own good", when they're by someone who's close enough to me to theoretically know better. Either the person has to stop trying to change me, or I start to consider them an enemy who knows far too much about me for my comfort, but evidently not enough about me to be a friend, because if they were really a friend, they'd have stopped trying to change something that's essential to my survival.

Fortunately for me, my brain no longer feels like fiberglass insulation has been dumped inside.
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