I've evidently got a bit of a mission. I'm not entirely sure the extent of it or how I'm going to accomplish it, but ...
I need to reconstruct the shape of a mind that created a library. It's difficult to get to know someone after they've died. I didn't really see the need to know Misty des Etoiles et Starfire of Atenveldt until very, very recently. In October, she had been sitting comfortably in the category of "one of those people I suppose I'm going to eventually meet". In November, this abruptly switched to, "one of those people who everyone else knew who I won't get the chance to meet now". In February, it swapped over to, "one of those people you need to learn more about," and now, in March, the pressure is insistent: "Remember 'Milly?"
I remember 'Milly. I never knew her, of course. She was only the one true love of my first bondmate. She died in a stupid hiking accident. They were horsing around and she fell.
While my high school best friend and I were bonded, he held half my soul and I held half his, or so it felt some days. After she fell, when she fell, he shattered, and parts of me shattered with him. His grief became my grief, and to understand it and cope with it, I had to understand why he loved her.
So it's now not enough for me to merely know that my new bondmate loves Misty des Etoiles et Starfire with a passion that transcends death. Since the fact is skating just below my consciousness with every breath I take, I've got to start understanding it.