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Sociability

Figment and I wound up watching a movie last night after we went out having fun in Mesa. Danny Kaye is lots of fun. Figment is a Media Whore just as much as Darkside is, but Figment's got the determination to infect me as well. I think this will go well -- I will resist charmingly, and Figment will gently insist on me sharing the things that he's very enthusiastic about. Figment and Darkside need to combine forces.

Figment is just the sort of person who winds up edging himself into all the holes and cracks in my life, because he's just that close to me, and we're just that much alike. We do things that don't involve the other, of course, but where we do wind up doing things together, things get really interesting, because we're evil twins.

The fact that we exist in the same universe is making it so that I have to keep re-evaluating my life and all the connections in it. It's scary and delightful.

I suppose the mere fact that I see this man outside of work for approximately as much time as I used to spend with Darkside at school should be worrying me, just because it's a change for me to be social with someone to that extent and not get sick of them really fast. But he's my bondmate, and that means that I could probably wind up sharing a dwelling with him and not be bothered. Though somehow I think our productivity would suffer because of that, because we wind up getting very, very off-task when we're left alone with each other.

I keep coming back to the thing that Figment pointed out, that I should really be considered to be popular. I'm a supervisor at work, pretty much, and most of my co-workers have a neutral to positive opinion of me, because I'm nice, polite, friendly, funny, helpful, and professional. Even the people at work who have a poor opinion of me probably have it based on the fact that I tend to actually try to enforce work's policies, at least when I have the energy to. (As I get more experience in a supervisory position, I'll be mellowing out; until I mellow out in any position, I tend to stick to the rules like Percy Weasley, which does tend to get up people's noses.) Even in my personal life, it winds up that people mostly love me, like me, are indifferent, or don't know me. There are precious few people who really strongly dislike or hate me, and that's good; most importantly, I'm not one of the default people who people in the places I am pick on just because. I got enough of that in school. I wasn't enough of an Utter Freak that everyone was actively mean to me, but I didn't fit in just enough so that winding me up was an acceptable form of sport. I reacted, you see. And I Wasn't Like Them.

So being actually someone who could be thought of as popular twists my brain. Being someone who other people want to hang out with twists my brain.
Gone away, gone ahead,
Echoes roll unanswered.
Empty, open, dusty, dead.
Why have all the Weyrfolk fled?

Where have dragons gone together
Leaving weyrs to wind and weather,
Setting herdbeasts free of tether;
Gone, our safeguards, gone, but whither?

Have they flown to some new weyr
Where cruel Threads some others fear?
Are they worlds away from here?
Why, oh why the empty weyr?

-- "The Question Song", Anne McCaffrey
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