Azure Jane Lunatic (azurelunatic) wrote,
Azure Jane Lunatic

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If there isn't something nice to say... (a fucked-up tale)

There's no way to make me look like the good guy in this, because there are no good guys and no bad guys, just a massive case of passive-aggressive bitchiness that's mostly mine. But every saga has a beginning, so let's start there.

Once upon a time, there was a school for evil magicians.

Well, sort of. Once upon a time, an aspiring writer got so very cross with the frustrating and dreadful things in life that she turned the day's woes into the Life Lessons of one would-be Dark Lord, a scowly and red-and-black tattooed man with glaring flame-colored eyes. And the story was hilarious, and it spawned sequels, until all of a sudden there was a cult following for the fic (even though the source movie stank like power-hungry fanboy and Things with the Innsmouth Look). And the Cult Following spawned some good friendships and some geographically-convenient associations, and all were happy.

Happy, that is, until not-so-suddenly, one of the members of one geographically-convenient association noticed that actually, the other half of the geographically-convenient association was the exact sort of person that she usually had major personality conflicts with. It wasn't really anyone's fault, not to start. One of the girls was very sweet, and tried very hard, but it was her sad lot in life to be Clueless About Stuff, and that was one of the very things that drove the Passive-Aggressive Bitch up the wall just on general principle, because the Passive-Aggressive Bitch prided herself on her own cluefulness, and how she only hung around with people who were just as clueful. And since she knew it was mean to tell people that you didn't want to hang out with them not for any good reason, just because they just drove you up the wall for no real reason, she didn't say anything, she just made excuses and was as good and polite a little girl as her mom could have wanted.

But the trouble with being polite and friendly to someone you don't really actually like is that they will start to think that you actually do like them. And that's just what happened. And it was a bit of an uncomfortable situation, and the Passive-Aggressive Bitch began looking for a graceful way out. But there are no graceful ways out of a situation like that, and every moment she stayed quiet, she was making it far, far worse than it could have been.

Perhaps things could have continued like that forever, but the Clueless Chick happened to express an opinion about a subject that the Passive-Aggressive Bitch felt very strongly about. And the Passive-Aggressive Bitch did not tell the Clueless Chick exactly how offended and hurt she was, she just very quietly packed up what was left of her side of the friendship and vowed that she would never let the Clueless Chick get close to her again. But by that time it was difficult, because the Passive-Aggressive Bitch and the Clueless Chick worked together, and they had many friends in common, and the Passive-Aggressive Bitch was determined to not let any appearance of discomfort mar the workplace or the social group. (But she took the Clueless Chick out of the LJ filter devoted to the subject that she was sensitive on, and vented there.)

The Passive-Aggressive Bitch had mostly stopped spending time with the Clueless Chick, and was actually feeling happy about seeing her when they did spend time together, when disaster struck. It seemed that the Passive-Aggressive Bitch had a friend, one Flaming Bastard, and the Clueless Chick and the Flaming Bastard had crossed paths before. When the Clueless Chick and the Flaming Bastard met, the Clueless Chick had been Clueless, and the Flaming Bastard had been Blunt and Tactless. Since the Flaming Bastard was Blunt and Tactless to everyone, he didn't think anything of this until the Clueless Chick mentioned it later.

The Passive-Aggressive Bitch didn't want to see people not getting along with each other, because she was the only person who was allowed to not get along with people, so she tried to make peace between her two feuding associates. The peace process stalled, burst into flame, and was notably less successful than most thoughts of peace in the Middle East, except without as many itchy trigger fingers and suicide bombers.

The Clueless Chick grew very upset, and told the Passive-Aggressive Bitch that she understood it if the Passive-Aggressive Bitch never wanted to talk to her again. And instead of comforting the Clueless Chick and being a responsible and caring human being and telling her that it was all going to be OK, the Passive-Aggressive Bitch decided that this was the graceful exit she was looking for and, after telling the Clueless Chick a few tactless opinions that she'd held, the Passive-Aggressive Bitch made her exit (stage left, gracelessly).

Or, she tried to. But it was impossible to do that, by then. Not only did the Clueless Chick and the Passive-Aggressive Bitch have a lot of friends in common, but they worked together, and the Passive-Aggressive Bitch realized that she could not afford to cause any kind of a scene at work, because since she was in a position of authority and especially because she knew she was not yet secure in the position, and any show of a negative incident with co-workers would count against her more. So the Passive-Aggressive Bitch reasoned that she could carry on a polite professional relationship with the Clueless Chick, with no one at work the wiser to what had happened and why they weren't really talking to each other anymore. After all, the Passive-Aggressive Bitch had given up on being friends with the Clueless Chick when the Clueless Chick had expressed how she really felt about the topic that was so dear to the Passive-Aggressive Bitch. Everything would be just fine.

Of course, it's never even that tidy in Real Life. The Clueless Chick was upset, and when a Well-Meaning Friend overheard a conversation that was supposed to have been private between the Clueless Chick and another mutual friend, he naturally shared the fact that the Clueless Chick was upset with the Passive-Aggressive Bitch.

And the Passive-Aggressive Bitch looked at herself and felt pretty damn lousy. Nothing was going to change the fact that she'd screwed up. Nothing was going to change the fact that she got along much better with the Clueless Chick when they weren't talking to each other. And there was nothing left, anymore, to be gained by pretending that it could all go away if she just didn't talk about it.

Note: regular readers of this journal may recognize the casting of azurelunatic as the Passive-Aggressive Bitch, wibbble as the Flaming Bastard, and Figment as the Well-Meaning Friend. The rest can probably be inferred from context. ...
<sarcasm> ... I'd like to thank the Academy ... </sarcasm>

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